will i ever get over him?

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-28-2006
will i ever get over him?
4
Sun, 02-18-2007 - 8:27pm

me n my ex bf has been broken up almost two weeks now. and i feel as though he dont even think about me. his now g/f and him are telling eah other they're in love with each other.......i saw this on his page..i feel its still my right because its my computer and his page anyone can access it. i cant stop thinking about him i even wonder if i'll ever find love again.so sad. the good men are taken n the others are not my type :-( but i look at it in a way as it being something good because he hardly supported me financially & emotionally.but i still love him.i feel like i will never quite be over him.

is it realistic? or just a feeling?

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-14-2007
Sun, 02-18-2007 - 9:02pm

hello cuteness! despite the fact that i'm going through a pretty hard time myself at the moment, i can 100% confirm that you WILL get over this man. I had my heart broken quite badly by an on again/off again boyfriend while I was at university. I spent hours lying on the floor crying; I bored all my friends to death talking about him; no one else lived up to him; I was overwhelmed by feelings of abandonment and pointlessness. I played and replayed images of all the nice times we'd had together and all the things I should have done differently. These were real feelings of almost unbearable emotional pain: the whole thing. It brought up a lot of horrible feelings from my past, and it took me a long time to get over him.

Nowadays, I'm in very occasional contact with this man. I am vaguely interested in what he's up to, but barely think about him. I can tell funny stories about stuff he said or did and there's not the slightest flicker of regret or pain in my heart. I just don't care - not in a cold or nasty way, but I don't feel any need to have him in my life. I don't even feel sexually attracted to him any more - all the uncontrollable feelings of lust and love have just evaporated. The question of what I should or shouldn't have done differently with him seems completely meaningless to me, like asking if I think birds should have whiskers or pigs should have wings. If I found out he had a girlfriend, I'd just think "oh, that's interesting".

I am now in love with a different man, who wants to break up with me - but that's a whole different story! And sure enough I feel like he's the only one for me, and like I can't live without him, and all the same feelings I had before about someone completely different.

It took me ages to get over that first crappy boyfriend, mostly because I have issues with abandonment and loss and so on, but the point is that EVERYONE gets there eventually. Everyone. People get divorced and go crazy and a year later they're walking around in the sunshine wearing a new dress; people break up with their first love and six months later they have a crush on the guy next door. Emotionally, everything is possible. It's just a question of waiting it out and being patient. Have faith in yourself - life is long!

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Mon, 02-19-2007 - 1:03pm

Hi cuteness,


::and i feel as though he dont even think about me.


What you feel is normal. He's not going to share his doubts, tell you he misses you or thinks about you.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-28-2006
Mon, 02-19-2007 - 6:54pm
thank you so much but i just found out the worst thing ever.hes now working at a hang out spot where i go very often.now when i go there i have to see him. i still have STRONG feelings for him & miss him..i dont think i'll b the one saying hi if i see him.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Mon, 02-19-2007 - 11:14pm
Oh that makes it tough. Can you stay away awhile? Find some new interests/hang outs?