Will I regret this? Need help

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-15-2004
Will I regret this? Need help
11
Thu, 08-05-2004 - 10:32am
So my ex and I have been broken up for about 5 months. We have not seen each other in probably 3 months but we still email and occassionally talk on the phone. Generally I have been doing ok but every so often I get really upset and angry again. I feel like he emails me to keep tabs on what I am doing and in some ways to hold onto me so I don't move on. He tells me that he really wants to be my friend and that what is going on in my life is important to him. Both yesterday and today his emails have been upsetting me. It's nothing that he has really said he's just bothering me. I hate being so emotional and I feel like I could act irrationally but I am debating sending him a pretty serious email. My email basically says that in reality we are not friends. Friendship to me is more then some emails to discuss our every day activities and I expect very different things from my friends. I said that when I write something he doesn't want to discuss he ignores it and that I really don't know why I put myself through this. He did a lot of selfish, crappy things to me and maybe I was too quick to forgive. Ultimately, I told him that it seems like we are talking too much and that since he was the one who wanted the break up I am leaving it up to him to decide when he truly wants to be a friend.

The problem with sending the email is that I like to get his emails. I know I shouldn't care but it does help to know that he is thinking about me and feels the need to contact me. (I never initiate conversation.) Also, my friends tell me that he doesn't even deserve the email I am debating sending him. He doesn't need to know my feelings or that I even still care about him. I sort of feel like it will give me a piece of mind but I don't want to regret sending it.

Does anyone have any advice? Has anyone been in a situation like this? Please help before I make a mistake!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-03-2004
Fri, 08-06-2004 - 2:05pm
I'm so happy for you! I am glad that you took a step to taking care of YOU... and you were able to take the high road and be respectful and firm at the same time... hopefully he will stick to it and respect your request... take care and again... good job!

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