will it ever get better than this?

Avatar for freckpp
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
will it ever get better than this?
2
Fri, 07-07-2006 - 7:56pm

Hi there,


Some of you may remember me from a while back.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-22-2006
Sat, 07-08-2006 - 1:52am

....."For a relationship that caused me so much pain and angst, why am I missing it so much and missing what we had?

Myspace Codes

Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sat, 07-08-2006 - 5:38pm

Hi, I remember your username, although I don't remember the specifics of your relationship and breakup, sorry. But unless you were together for quite a short time, it's very normal for you not to be over him after just 4 months.

I see two things in your post that might be holding you back...one is that you're starting to forget the bad things about your relationship and the reasons it ended, and that impedes the acceptance process. Accepting that this guy wasn't right for you is what you need to be working towards, and if you aren't focusing on the reasons why, it's hard to get to acceptance. So make a list of the reasons, and keep it close at hand (I prefer to do it on a set of index cards, because the stack, one reason per card, is a good visual reminder even without reading through them).

The other thing is having contact with him before you're completely over him. I strongly suggest that it's in your best interests to cut off contact again for the time being.

Sandra touched on this in her post and I would just reiterate--recovery from a relationship is an internal process, not an external one. So all the going out and doing things in the world won't allow you to recover, if you're not working towards acceptance internally. Distraction from the sadness is good, but you still have to do the inner work.

Sheri