Will it EVER stop?!?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-07-2007
Will it EVER stop?!?
8
Wed, 07-25-2007 - 10:02am
I hate this. I felt basically normal yesterday, I was able to laugh with friends at work, plan things for my future (I've wanted to get a dog, so I am). I was even able to sleep a little better, almost 5 whole hrs as oppose to the 2-3 I've been getting for the past 10 days. Then I woke up this morning and everything was terrible. I'm horribly depressed, lonely, frustrated - I just want to go home, not to my place, but to my parents in another state, so I can cry uncontrollably. I thought I was doing SO MUCH better, and I'm not and I feel like I never will. I WANTED this breakup. I mean, I wish of course that things had worked out, but I was unhappy, and I realized and STILL realize it was for the best. Why am I still so incredibly miserable?
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-14-2007
Wed, 07-25-2007 - 10:06am
i didnt want my breakup-- but it happend, but i feel the same way. its only been about two weeks, ans well i just dont feel like its getting better. during the day ill have good moments :) ill laugh and not think about it...then i go to bed, or i wake up, and thats it. im as depressed as ever. and just want to cry cry cry. it does feel like itll never get better...but it will eventually, for us both. right? it has to. i mean we cant be miserable for ever. for about a week i slept maybe an hour a night. now im juust sooooo tired, all the crying takes up so much energy, that i finally get to sleep a good 5 hours. unfortinatly i wake up rested, but so miserable :( nothing seems to help.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-08-2007
Wed, 07-25-2007 - 10:16am

HI!

It gets better...you just have to take each day at a time. That is great that you will get a dog. It's the best thing you can do, will take your mind off of things and onto taking care of the dog. And he/she will be your best friend. If I could have a dog in the place I am renting, I would have gotten one a long time ago.

My ex-girl asked me to leave her house about five months ago. I still have days in which I feel hopeless, but no where near as often as during the first month. Now, I love life, and I do lots of things just for me. I bought a guitar Sunday, and I am starting to learn how to play it. I am back to building radio controlled airplanes...something I stopped doing when I was in the relationship.

Just focus on yourselves...you will have good days and bad days, that's just part of the process.

Take care!

Rob

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-14-2007
Wed, 07-25-2007 - 10:29am
rob, its nice to have a man on this site. id love to get your oppinion on a few things about this breakup im having. youre a guy...maybe you can tell me what to do; i bet you know exactly what to do :)
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-22-2006
Wed, 07-25-2007 - 2:33pm

gal_astoria and mstullips--


Of course it gets better.

Myspace Codes

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2007
Wed, 07-25-2007 - 4:53pm
That is a really good question - why do we miss something that was so obviously wrong? If you read my post you will see I am kinda in the same boat - I divorced the guy and now can't seem to get over it. Maybe we just are sad that it didn't work out the way we had hoped and it is always scary to start over - but YOU CAN DO IT! Hang in there.
Sarah
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-25-2007
Wed, 07-25-2007 - 6:07pm

I know exactly how you feel. I just broke up with my boyfriend yesterday because of what i foundout. all i can say is, cry. cry your heart out, and then stop and look at the whole scenario. re assure yourself of the things and reasons why you broke up with him. people always say that we women for whatever reason, after breaking up with a guy, tend to remember the good and not the bad.

my question is this. my boyfriend and i dated for 6 months. this past may we "broke up" one day at the beach. later that night i kissed another guy, he found out, was hurt and well i decided what i had done was obviously wrong. i left the beach to fly back home earlier because i didnt want to hurt him by hooking up with another guy or doing even worse. 2 nights later i called him back and told we should get back together. and he was like of course and wedid. then i just find out 2 months later, that he had gotten head from a girl ( friend of mine) the night i left the beach. i freaked out and broke up with him, and i have never been so hurt. this isnt the first but 4th time he has lied to me, and i dont think i can ever trust him again, or can i?

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-21-2003
Thu, 07-26-2007 - 12:11am
I understand how your feeling, its been about a week since my breakup. We were together for 4 and half years and he ended it after a conversation with his father, he said I didn't bring enough to the table, and my ex agreed and added that all I bring is problems. Though today was a little better, I think by giving him back his stuff, and then putting away the things that made me think of the good moments has helped. Though I think its at night when I miss him the most, and I loved him so much. I was willing to fight for us and all he did was walk. That will never share another moment together that will be ours, it hurts and it should but more importantly its going to take time, just like it took time to fall in love it will take time to get over that love. And another thing I think is something that scares all of us after a break up and that is, can we stand alone and still be happy? Thats the hardest question I've had to face the last few days, and I've cried a lot, and gotten angry a lot about what could've and would've been. I know at this point that if you don't face the feelings and let them out,instead they will consume you and you'll never be able to take steps forward.Just remember that there will be good days and bad, but each day is a step forward and your heart will be whole again.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-07-2007
Thu, 07-26-2007 - 10:36am

I guess a point I should be clear about when I say I wanted this break up is that I loved him tremendously, and I would have stuck around and kept trying, tried anything, whatever it took. But we broke up a few months back afterwhich I poured all of me into fixing things. Over the months since, I was noticing that he did nothing, he put no effort in and everything I was doing he still told me wasn't enough. If we argued, he just shut down, we never talked about it and it would just "go away". I didn't WANT to breakup but when I stood back and looked at our relationship I saw it was never going to get better. That's why I decided I needed out. If I believed there was anything WE could do, or even if I thought just me trying would be enough, I'd have never let this happen. I'm moving on because I don't believe in us anymore. It's so terribly depressing, why couldn't he have just TRIED the way he said he would, why couldn't he recognize the things I did? Sometimes I think if we'd have recognized the problems earlier on, we could have fixed them so it didn't get this far gone, but then I remember he was never willing to fix anything. He'd TALK about going to couples therapy, it was HIS idea, but nothing ever happened. I went to therapy myself and he just continued thinking I was the one that needed to fix everything.

I still wake up far too early in the morning and can't get back to sleep. I've been having these half asleep dreams about him lately. Sometimes we're happy and I remember how great things could be, and other times it's in the future and I see him all moved on and happy without me. Does anyone else have this?