Will things really get better?

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-08-2007
Will things really get better?
4
Tue, 10-09-2007 - 10:41am

Hi all,


I'm new to this board and new to a devastating breakup. I've dated and had long-term relationships before, but I've never felt like this. Out of the blue late last week he broke up with me. He said he thought he was making a big mistake but felt it was the right thing to do in order to save me more pain later. He's going through some major life changes and I feel like he might be depressed (has no interest in the things that he used to love doing). I've never cried so much in my entire life. I really thought he was the one. Even when we broke up he told me he had thought I was "it" for him.


I thought I was doing OK, but this morning I'm sitting at work and can't do anything but think about the situation and how much I miss what we had. I'm just so confused. How can someone love you one day and not the next? How can I keep from crying over my keyboard infront of my coworkers?


Although all I want to do is talk to him, I know that isn't the answer.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-13-2006
Tue, 10-09-2007 - 11:17am

Well I can't give you much advice but I can tell you you're not alone. I feel the same way. My eyes are still puffy from crying last night over my ex. I hate feeling this way as I'm sure you do too.


It sucks to be with someone & love them & think that is it for you only to have the rug ripped right out from underneath you

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-08-2007
Tue, 10-09-2007 - 11:30am

Hi Curlygrl30,


Thanks so much for your response. And more important, congrats on the new job! That's exciting. I'm so sorry that you feel just like I do, but it is nice to know I'm not alone. It's so scary and I just feel so lost - questioning everything right now. You're right, I need to throw myself into other things and get on with my life. If I continue to be miserable then he wins. I (and you too) deserve to be the winner.


Thanks so much.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Tue, 10-09-2007 - 1:36pm

Welcome to the board maiji1033,


Things will get better. You will have good days and bad days.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-08-2007
Wed, 10-10-2007 - 11:17am

Thanks so much for the great advice and links. It is all helping.


Today definitely feels a bit better - still hurts, but at least I'm functioning.


I'm learning that it's OK to lean on others. My friends have been amazing. They let me cry, help me laugh and are gently helping me get through this whole thing. I'm learning that just about everyone (even my guy friends) have thought they were with "the one" and had their hearts crushed. It helps to hear their stories.


My friends even packed up all of his stuff for me last night and the one who introduced us (she works with him) is going to deliver it. My gosh he left so much stuff at my place, in my car, everywhere. If I had been planning on breaking up with someone I would have carefully and strategically begun the move back to my place. Oh well. I'm not convinced that he really planned this. I'm glad my friends are taking care of it for me. They said he doesn't deserve to see me again for the exchange and I think they are right. Although I want nothing more than to see him and hug him, it would just be harder for me in the long run.


So thank you all. I know this is just the beginning of a long road, but I'm just going to take it one day at a time. I appreciate your support and hope I can be of help to you as well!