A Word of Encouragement

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-10-2004
A Word of Encouragement
2
Wed, 04-13-2005 - 11:14am

I have not posted here in several months, but I do know what nearly every one of you are feeling. I went through a terrible break up just a little less than a year ago...however, different from most of you on this message board, I am male. However, and not to re-hash it all, the breakup was the same as what many of you have experienced. She broke up with me, then started immediately seeing someone else...and continously showed up in places with him she knew I'd be. Long story.

Anyway, I really thought that I would die. The pain was nearly unbearable. I lived for nightfall so I could take a pill and go to sleep...for sleep was my only escape. However, even then, I would frequently dream of her...and the dreams were so real that when I would awaken I would have to convince myself that it had only been a dream.

Despite being treated badly during the relationship, and enduring the gut wrenching, heartbreaking break up, I still loved her and it hurt so very much to be without her.

I found this message board...and posted a few times here and it did help. Most of the responses I'd get would be "it just takes time" or "in time the pain will go away". I thought to myself, "how slowly time must move and that even then it's never going to stop hurting." I asked myself many many times "how long will this hurt?' I struggled daily to get out of bed, shower, dress for work and get to the office...only to sit for long periods of time at my desk and be continously distracted by thoughts of her and our previous relationship. Everywhere I went there were reminders and in my mind, I knew it would always be that way.

I hate to say this, at the risk of sounding like a broken record, but to everyone here that is going through those early stages now, have faith. It will pass. Time does have some sort of magical way of healing the pain. There will always be scars. But somehow you find yourself a much stronger person for having gone through this. I can't explain it...but you just have to believe it. Because it does happen this way. I'd never have thought it, but it does.

And, a few months down the road, you will find someone new, who will truly love you and you will truly love. Yes, you will be scarred and you will take the lessons you have learned with you into the new relationship, but you won't believe how strong it makes you.

Just hang in there....take a day at a time...and know that as you step from one day into the next one that every day you hurt is a day closer to recovery. You may not see the light at the end of the tunnel at first, but as time progresses the light will get brighter and you will finally hit the open. IF I did it, I know you can too.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-29-2005
Wed, 04-13-2005 - 9:35pm
Wow that you so much for your words. My b/f just broke up with me yesterday and all i do is cry and cry. Everyone tells me to just give it time, but i feel that its impossible to forget the person you love. Just to think that im never gonna be with him again breaks my heart even more. Thank you for your words and i really hope i could get through this fast because i feel so bad. It has only been a day and it kills me to think that it is over.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-30-2004
Thu, 04-14-2005 - 10:29pm
Welcome back!!!
Photobucket