Worse Than yesterday (long)

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-18-2004
Worse Than yesterday (long)
4
Fri, 05-12-2006 - 7:31pm
Yesterday I put in some movies, ran two miles and got my car back. I didnt think of him or anything, I mean a few thoughts but I was busy.
He called last night and left me a voicemail since i did not hear my phone...he told me "Hey what's up, it's me, just calling to see how you were doing, and to tell you I missed you today, I guess you're sleeping so I'll talk to you later"....
I called back...
Today I woke up so sadddd, it's so hard not to call him in the morning and say "I miss you babe, love ya!!". It's so hard not being together, we broke up with a kiss and hug in the airport and him saying "i love you" ..that night everything changed.
I'm at home, and just laying in my bed, flashbacks attack of him laying there too smiling with his weird faces and laughing all hysterical, or being the goofy boyfriend i loved so much. The room reminds me of the wrestling matches we would have, or the tickling fights or the chases we would have all throughout my house and they always ended with a kiss.
We talked today because my dad is having a surgery done (nothing big!), and he was like "take it easy"...it's so weird, i feel so weird talking to him, i'm so scared he'll find someone else and forget everything, I feel worse knowing that I might be the only one crying over this.
What do you guys think??
I love him, truly and deeply, and I know he loves me too. This relationship ended not because of not loving each other anymore, it ended for unresolved issues in our lives and we needed I guess validation that it is the real deal.
I know he's somewhat happy in New York, back with his family...but when he calls how should I act?
Should I play the busy girl "call you later"?? or should I act normal and just be like "whats up? or should I let him know how I feel???
PLEASE! HELP ME! I'M HURTING SO MUCH RIGHT NOW!!!!!!!!!!!
Avatar for iamdelightful
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sat, 05-13-2006 - 10:42am

I don't know the specifics of your situation, Claudia, so I can't really give you good advice. Knowing nothing but hearing the tone of your letter, sensing the hurt and love that's there, I would say you should just bite the bullet and ask him not to call anymore. Tell him that being away from him, that losing him, hurts you too much. Tell him you need at least a few months of no contact to help you mourn your loss, then go do it.

I'm assuming he left you, but perhaps it was a mutual decision. In either case, you need to take care of yourself now. Talking to him only prolongs the pain.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-10-2006
Sun, 05-14-2006 - 7:02pm

i hear your pain.

the same sort of thing happened to me a week ago with the same ending as well (hug, kiss and i love you).
anyway the first couple days I was a mess and i talked to him and we talked civily but it was completely weird.
the last call i made to him i was crying and sad - i realized i just need to stop calling or picking up the phone.
so i did and i came home to my parents house for the weekend. he's called a bunch and since i am still living in the apt we had together, he picked some of his things up while i wasnt there.
he called and left a message thanking me for packing his things and seperating our belongings and again "i love you"
it's really tough but he broke it off with me and no matter how hard it is in the morning waking up without him there i have to remind myself that this happened for a reason and talking to him only makes it harder for me.

i'm not sure how your relationship was but if you both want to see if your relationship is right with each other i would definately limit and calls or stop all together. it IS one of the hardest things but talking regularly will not help the situation get solved.

if you have a gut feeling the relationship might not reignite, go out to the book store and grab "it's called a break up because it's broken". great book i think even tho 20 bucks. it helps! one day at a time! good luck! and stay busy!

Avatar for cmdonnab
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2000
Sun, 05-14-2006 - 7:02pm
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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-08-2006
Mon, 05-15-2006 - 10:50am

I am going through the same thing right now. My boyfriend of 4.5 years broke up with me 3 weeks ago, because he doesn't want to be in a relationship right now and he is trying to figure out what he wants out of life and if I really am the right girl for him, etc. I know he loves me and I definitely know I love him. I at first kept calling him, crying and trying to get him to change his mind, but I've realized now that only he can do that.

i am giving him his space and I have faith that if we are supposed to be together then we will.

If he calls again just act normal and tell him what's been going on in your life. Don't cry and don't try to change his mind.

I wish you the best of luck. And remember if he truly loves you and you are supposed to be with him, your love will bring you back together

((((((HUGS))))))