wow this is very hard, feel very sad

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-16-2007
wow this is very hard, feel very sad
3
Wed, 01-17-2007 - 1:23pm
Well I HAVE BEEN SEEING THIS MAN for 8 months now. EVERYTHING was great, we had such good times togther. We made each other very happy and not one fight. I have 3 kids and he has 2. His are grown and mine are not. That was a problem that we just kept sweeping under the rug. He was up-front with me right from the start. He wasn't looking for a new family. When he 1st told me that I was like well yeah ok.... why did I want that we just started dating. It came up a ''FEW'' more times but I for some stupid reason kept thinking that would change. Most of what we did togther was without the kids cause it was quiet in the beginning. He is the 1st man I have been with in 15 years.
anyway he told me that wasn't going to change. We have tried 2 break-ups and a break... but I keep going back.. why? I have no idea... as a mother I should have ran the minute someone said that to me. why didn't I? Now I love him and it hurts a lot. For goodness sake I am crying like a teenager. I went to see him today at lunch and said ok... ok to ending it. we both know we have to.. but we both love each other.
How do you leave someone you love? The next week is going to be so very hard, how do I not call him? How do I not go over there? ok thanks for reading if you got this far... I am only at one hour break-up here so right now I AM A BLUBBERING idiot...
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-04-2003
Wed, 01-17-2007 - 2:36pm
It's very hard when we deny the truth of our relationships from the get-go. He made his position clear and the two of you got involved anyway. Sorry you have to go through this.


Carrie

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-05-2005
Wed, 01-17-2007 - 8:30pm

Trac99er-

Sorry you're going thru this sweetie. Take it hour by hour and FEEL your emotions (as if you couldn't eh?) I know the 1st 2-5 days of my break up I couldn't even think str8. I went from shock to denial to gut wrenching sobs and now I am just mad. My poor mom stayed on the phone with me while I went from hysterical to not saying anything to sobbing nonstop. It will be 3 wks this Sat and I am at least able to keep it together, at least most of the time. I broke down at work yesterday and today and even considered asking my boss for a leave of absence. What I am fighting now is the unknown, I feel over the sad and past the habits we had in our almost 3 yr relationship, you will be 2 as long as you keep putting one foot in front of the other. You will probably be in shock for at least a few days.

But keep posting here and we'll be here for you.

Many Many Hugs

L

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-16-2007
Wed, 01-17-2007 - 10:26pm
ok you are not going to like this but I was on the phone with him for almost 2 hours tonight. I couldn't even make it throughh one night. Although I was supoose to go over there tonight and remember I told him I would not be over and I did not do that. See today when I was with him for lunch it was a shock to me that it was truly over. However I still needed to go there tomorrow cause someone he works with had been working on something of mine and it was done. I did not want to blow the man off plus I still need to pay him.... so to get to the point, my man emailed me and said one small sentence about getting that tomorrow. Well stupid me, emailed him and when he didn't reply I called. ok can you say loser?
so I sat there like an idiot crying for 2 hours telling him he is making a mistake..... why am I doing this? I feel really rejected. Every relationship he has had, the woman has ended it with him.. so it really hurts that he is ending it with me. Not to metinion that he is still saying he doesn't want to end it with me but it ''IS'' ended.... mt eyes hurt sooo bad from crying all day, I have a major headache and now feel like a fool having called him and cried like that. He seems so ''whatever'' about it. Imean I know he will probably miss me for a bit. But he seems like he can give or take the situation. Why can't I JUST SAY ''OK'' AND move on? I just feel like a teenager and I hate this. I HATE it all....thanks for listening if you read all this..