yey new years eve is over!!
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| Tue, 01-03-2006 - 1:09am |
im sooo happy 2005 is over and new years eve is done with!
the day before new years eve and new years eve i was a wreck. i was reallly sad, could barely drag myself out of bed. it was like the first week of our breakup.
i was just dreading new years eve night so bad.
and you know what, i ended up getting really drunk and having an awesome time with friends :)
and he texted me 3 times that night...obviously NOT going through with the NC that we agreed on. but i did not write back.
at first he said happy new years.
then the second one was please just talk to me
the third one was i miss you
i just dont understand why he has started texting me after he knows how much pain he has caused me and how i begged him to just leave me alone so i could get my life back together. yes so hes missing me- i miss him too- but i wish he'd think about me, and how its best in the long run for me to just let me move on & let me hurt so that i will be able to completely get over him and be happy...thats what he said he wanted...he felt real guilty about ending it because i was so upset and he still loved me but couldnt commit the way i wanted. HE initiated the break up...flat out said he didnt want a relationship because he wants to be single in college ( my TRANSLATION: wants to be open for random hookups, wants to drink all day and night, wants me out of his life unless i wanna stick around for sex..hah..been there done that..NOOO)
can't block his phone number or the texts. but i know i'll be able to keep up NC.
those sad days just suck so bad!!!!! its crazy how u can feel sooo pathetic one day and totally strong and indepdent the next. hopefully more of those better days will be comin up in '06. im really optimistic. 2005 has sucked on so many levels..cant wait to start fresh.

I just wanted to say congrats on turning what could have been a bad new year's into a good one and keeping up the NC. You've got some strength and it's good to see. Good for you! Let's hope that the ex gets the idea and leaves you alone.
Happy new year!
omickey