Yikes! Wasn't expecting that!

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-18-2004
Yikes! Wasn't expecting that!
3
Mon, 06-19-2006 - 12:41am

Yet again, I was on the computer, unavailable, and he still messaged me! Just acting like nothing happened, everything was cool. The e-mail I sent him didn't even phase him. Wow. I thought for sure that by not getting a reply meant he really considered it.

What do you think is going on here? Why is he still trying so hard to contact me, and be friendly with me? I know it's partly my fault for responding to his messages, but I figure they are so short and to the point, that he realizes I'm not available to talk.

Don't worry, I am working on this.

Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 06-19-2006 - 12:50am

From your description of your relationship, it sounds like he didn't ever really have a lot of regard for your feelings and what YOU wanted when you were together...so it's not surprising that he still doesn't have any regard for them now.

My guess would be that he wants to be seen as not a bad guy for breaking up with you...and so he's probably thinking that if you're willing to talk to him and be his friend, then he can't be that bad a guy. So it's important to him that you be friendly to him...but he doesn't really care about how it's affecting YOU, just him.

So, is part of "working on it", blocking him from IM'ing you?

Sheri

Avatar for iamdelightful
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 06-19-2006 - 1:23am
It's easy for him to be friendly and chatty because he's the one who left. He's not the one who's hurting. Did you send him an email or IM asking him not to contact you? You might want to consider doing that. Given what he's put you through she should understand that you don't want to be his buddy.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-18-2004
Mon, 06-19-2006 - 9:57am

He's blocked. That's enough of that. The problem is, I had to do that, because obviously he doesn't know what it means when I'm in unavailable mode. I have to be online though, because I need to talk to someone from school about homework.

Pretty sad when he can't put two and two together. I thought I was pretty explicit in the e-mail, about how I was not ready to be friends yet, and that I needed some time. I guess not.

It doesn't surprise me anyways. He never listened to a word I said, or seemed to understand what I was trying to get across.

I'll probably have to block a few more things (e-mail, telephone, etc.) But I can screen those things.