You can't chose who you love...

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-22-2004
You can't chose who you love...
3
Wed, 10-20-2004 - 3:47pm

Well I will try to make this long story short.

He came into my life about 3 years ago. I felt a strange connection to him but knew he would break my heart. He is from my home town (where I still live), but he lives about 400 miles away now. Everytime he has come home over the past 3 years he has found some way to contact me, and try to get me to go out with him. But I always blew him off as I knew, my heart couldn't not handle what he would do with it.
Finally, in July, he called and said he wanted to make me dinner. I thought to myself "maybe I should just give the guy a chance, he has been trying for 3 years now". So he came over, and we had a wonderful time together, ended up spending the next 5 days, joined at the hip, until he had to go back. We talked constantly, but he didn't want to be in a relationship because he had just gotten out of one. I respected his decsion but proceeded to fall madly in love with him, rather quickly. Once he realized he had that "contol" over me the verbal abuse started. He would say some horrible things to me, but he would always apologize and "make it up to me". It wasn't until recently that I realized how much damage he had really done on my spirt and my soul.
He would come up here to visit once or twice a week. Then I went to see him and we got in a really bad car accident and he totaled his truck. So I started to drive up to see him every single weekend.
This past weekend, I went and picked him up and brought him back here to stay with me (yes I drove 800 miles in one day for that). Things were going really well between us, we were having an awesome time together. Then yesterday morning, he realized that his sunglasses case was missing. He flew off the handle. Currently my twin brother and his best friend are living with me. He assumed that one of them had stolen it from him. Yesterday afternoon (while I was at work) he started saying that he was going to "kick the sh*t out of the two of them until he got his stuff back" (keep in mind it is a CASE for sunglasses, not the glasses, just the case). He kept telling me all these things and I got scared and told him if he came back by my house I would call the police. He said "good call an ambulance while you are at it." That was it, I called the cops and filed a complaint against him. The cops called him and told him he was to leave me alone or he would be arrested.
Needless to say I am done with the guy, I am stupid for being with him in the first place, but I love the guy. I'd never been in love before. It's a good thing that this happened, because if he can get that mad over something so petty, who knows what he is capable of. But he still broke my heart, just as I expected. I guess all I am looking for right now is some support, encouraging words and some hugs.
I know that wasn't very short but I left A LOT out.

Thanks for listening guys!!!!
~Cait

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-15-2003
Wed, 10-20-2004 - 6:37pm
cait

be very careful of this guy...good thing you called the police.

i think you have LOVE confused with another emotion here.....you are aprobably addicted to him in some way and that can feel like love...i know cause i have been there.

good luck

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-22-2004
Thu, 10-21-2004 - 11:53am
Wow. Loveslife, that makes complete and total sense to me. I had never looked at it like that. You're right, I don't think I am in love with the guy, I am just addicted to him. I do have a really addictive personality. You have no idea how much you just helped me. Thank you, thank you, thank you!!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-30-2004
Thu, 10-21-2004 - 1:01pm
(((Cait))) I'm so sorry you had to go through all this!! But it is a good thing that you figured out that he's short fused like this down rather than down the line....I mean you could have moved in with him or even married him and he could have really hurt you!!! I'm glad you, your brother, and your brother's friend are all ok. I know you're hurting now....but I'm sure it's for the best. I wish you the best and we're all here if you need us!!
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