young broken heart....

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2004
young broken heart....
Sat, 08-14-2004 - 7:19pm
In about a week I will be starting my first year of college close to home. I have dated the same guy for almost 2 1/2 and since things still seemed to be going great I planned to stay with him while in college. He asked me if someday I planned on marrying him, so I gave him my honest answer of “I don’t know." He asked me what the point of us being together was, and I told him that we are young and having fun. He seemed to except how i felt, but was obviously really hurt. The rest of the day he was distant and we seemed to have lost something.

By the end of the afternoon we started to argue about something really small and I just lost my temper and said some horrible things to him. We reached my car and he said that he was done, never to call and there was no chance of us getting back together. I didnt say anything, or ask for us to try to work things out, because there was a part of me that wanted to be done in the relationship and experience new things. I just cried and took him home without saying anything to him. He just said he was glad I was upset and that I should go find myself a "college" boyfriend. I want to respect his wishes and leave him alone, and honestly don’t think that now is the right time for us to be together.

I feel so horrible about how I treated him and now I realize that I have lost a huge part of my life that I really love and care about. It makes me sick to my stomach and each night I cry myself to sleep thinking about him. I know that it’s healthy to go out and date new people now, but I’m afraid that I will only find jerks and nothing will compare to him. I have this fear that he will be the one that I want in the end and he will hate me and will have found someone else. Any advice to a young-girl with a broken heart....thanks!