Zen & the AoDN vs What I've Already Done

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-22-2008
Zen & the AoDN vs What I've Already Done
2
Thu, 01-24-2008 - 6:35am

Whoops. So, I chased, pleaded, bombarded practically did everything BUT fly myself to where he was. He (of course) hadn't changed his mind (it had only been 3 days to begin with!!), didn't think we had a chance, didn't want to wait to see if I changed, etc.


I met

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Thu, 01-24-2008 - 11:48am

Only time will tell if you blew anything.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-08-2007
Thu, 01-24-2008 - 11:54am

Hey lushassgrl -

I'm so happy that you've quit obsessively trying to get him back and you've been trying real hard to improve on yourself and occupy your time with personal activities. KUDOS TO YOU!

Honestly I think you need to continue on this path of self improvement and focus only on yourself. So what if your friend thinks that your ex acted irrationally and that it'll be hard for your ex to get over you?? That's what your friend thinks. He cannot control your ex or his actions! Your ex thought everything through and made a decision to leave the relationship. I wouldn't hold onto your friend's opinion. And please tell your friend to not set anything up for you and your ex to meet. If your ex wants to meet up with you, he should do it on his OWN. Not because someone forced him to. Don't you want someone who WANTS to talk with you? He needs to get to that conclusion on his own, not through some forced meeting.

This is between you and your ex and your ex has made it clear that he does not want to be with you. So screw him! You live your life the BEST way possible. You focus on yourself and build your own self esteem up so that you don't have to put yourself in a situation where you totally lean on someone for support.

Don't try to fix yourself for your ex. Fix yourself for you. You have to be your own best friend, cause you have to live with yourself for the rest of your life. Better be your best companion. :)

I don't think you blew your chances because of your original behavior, because you've stopped (have you stopped totally? Meaning, no contact?).

Please continue to take care of yourself, improve on your own, don't hold on to your friend's words, try to move on and if it's meant to be it will happen. But in the meantime, you'll be glad you took this time to work on yourself.

Good luck and big hugs!!!