Trapped!

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-31-2007
Trapped!
3
Sat, 07-06-2013 - 11:55am

Hello everyone - thanks for listening. . . . .

I am feeling totally trapped in my current relationship. I have been living with my BF for way too long - 5 years. He moved into the house I own because he was a renter. He has never really contributed his fair share for expenses. Lost his job about 6 months after moving in and decided he wanted to be self employed. He thinks he can earn a living blogging or designing websites and hasn't really earned any amount of money in all this time.

I could maybe handle the responsibility of supporting him if he was communicative about the situation, but his his vague and evasive. He is extremely moody and really difficult to be around. I dread coming home from work and being around him on the weekends.

I really want to break up and have him move out but he has nothing. He has no money to support himself and literally no friends or family (he has not spoken to his family in 3 years.) to help him out. I am trapped. I don't know how to get out of this relationship.

Thanks!!

phoenix

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-17-2000
Thu, 10-03-2013 - 2:25pm
He is an adult and will need to do what he needs to do. He is not your responsibility

Marie

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-17-2000
Thu, 10-03-2013 - 2:25pm
He is an adult and will need to do what he needs to do. He is not your responsibility

Marie

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-16-2009
Tue, 10-22-2013 - 5:11pm

I know exactly where your coming from!  You need to get out, if your like me I felt like I was slowly dying, more each day.  You can do it, although I'm not going to tell you it will be easy.  He is a grown man and he is just using you.  Why should he find a job.  He has you to pay his way.  It's not your fault he is in this predicament.  Why should you have to pay for his mistakes.  You are just enabling him.  I've even had to go to a women's shelter.  Hey it was better than being with him.  I'm about to go back to the shelter.  I'm not going to waste any more precious time on him.  Life is too short.  I say do what you have to do, to keep you happy.  If you keep paying his way, he has no reason to work.  He will keep on, until you put a stop to it.  Only you can make the decision.  Don't keep wasting precious time on him.  I wasted 12 years on mine.  They do not change.  He will tell you that he will, just to buy some time.  Don't believe him.