I wish "A's" were allowed in a marriage

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-11-2003
I wish "A's" were allowed in a marriage
8
Mon, 08-11-2003 - 4:18pm
I just basically wish that I could have my cake and eat it too! I love my life, my H, my kids, my sex life with H, but I just wish I could have a sexual relationship with my OM, and that it be ok!

Now I am slowly coming to the understanding that it is not the sex that I want but the attention, but till then I can go on dreaming about eating that cake can't I? :-)

ohhh hummm,

Happy (really I am)

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
HD,

I'm ROTFL... I said that exact same thing... so many times... Why can't I just have my life and also enjoy this little bit of hot sex on the side... But I can't have sex in an emotional vaccuum... it doesn't work...

You are getting there - seeing the A for what it really is - an escape from the real issues that need to be dealt with...

Thanks for the smile, and I'm glad you're feeling happy

Glinda

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-12-2003
Do you enjoy gambling too? I don't want to come off sounding harsh with you, but I would like to point out a few things. You say you are happy with your marriage but you obviously lack attention from your H. Oh, you may have a nice sex life with him, but somewhere, either in you or your marriage, there is something lacking for you to not be true to the covenant you entered into with your H. A child will thrive on attention and have problems with a lack there of. But I am assuming you are an adult. So with that being said, I would like to ask you a few questions. What happened which makes you think or believe you deserve to have the love or just a sexual relationship with two men? Do you realize it goes way past what most feel is decent in marriage? Do you realize it is how sexually transmitted diseases are spread? And have you considered how your H, let alone you would feel if your H knew of your activities? And a secret you keep from your H requires lieing on your part. Doesn't that bother you?

Something you need to think about is this. If you left this world tomorrow, would there be anything in your life that you would want to change or better yet, feel any remorse about doing? I am not trying to preach to you here because you can certainly live your life anyway you see fit. But if anything I have typed to you this morning hits home, then I would suggest you begin to realize that your way of thinking is distorted. If you don't come to grips with what you are truly doing to yourself and potentially doing to your family, you may just end up alone.

Take care.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-09-2003
What happiness is for one is not the definition of what it is for another.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-02-2003
I wish I could call the OM whenever I wanted and talk to him! So many times I've wished he were a woman so we could be friends and not even have to worry about the sexual thing... (Yes, I know there's women who are attracted to each other... but I'll assume that wouldn't happen- LOL). But... if he were a woman, he never would have noticed me and sought me out.... He probably wouldn't have any desire to talk to me at 2AM for hours while his wife thought he was at work. So- I guess I'll never have my cake and eat it too either..... *sigh*
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-18-2003
what is ROTFL???
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-18-2003
I know this is an old thread but I'm in that place right now ~ I'm the OW and I want my cake and eat it too. It's been somewhat easy for me b/c i have so many other things going on. I can be a GREAT lover/friend but I'm not your typical domestic wife and don't know if I'd make a good one (proof from last marriage). I do know that living 2 lives is wearing me down:(

And now his feelings are changing for me...it was easier when I thought I was just a piece of A-- and he was my boytoy. Now I don't want anybody else. But, I also don't want him to leave his wife...go figure?!

Of course, weekends get lonely without a partner to do things with....:(

lost in the cake!

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-04-2003
Rolling on the floor laughing

R O T F L

rotfl

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-18-2003
thanks! I couldn't figure out what that meant!!!:)