The Impacts of Fishing

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-22-2009
The Impacts of Fishing
5
Mon, 10-31-2011 - 9:46am
The impacts of fishing
8 Posts
12-09-2011 10:31 PM
Be where you are; otherwise you will miss your life. ~ Buddha
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-28-2010
Mon, 10-31-2011 - 11:51am

I do agree that fishing only causes pain, especially if you are the "fisherman/woman" and get no response from xAP-it hurts. You set yourself up for the rejection and pain all over again and end up taking steps backwards with any healing progress you have made.

I don't agree that all xAPs feel the same way about fishing attempts. Each situation is different. Not all xAPs regret one another and their As.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-22-2009
Thu, 01-05-2012 - 9:33am

Bumping up, and in response to JG's comment that not all XAP's regret their affairs, may I add that she was freshly out of hers, that she did go fishing a few weeks later, and that her XAP did not respond, thus causing her more pain.

Fishing is selfish and ego driven. You are only doing it to see if the XAP misses you like you miss him/her. It solves nothing, opens wounds that were healing, and in the worse case scenario, it may start the A up again.If you want to move on and get past the pain of your A, always remember that NC=No new hurts.

JMHO,

Iddy

Be where you are; otherwise you will miss your life. ~ Buddha
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-30-2011
Thu, 01-05-2012 - 11:34am

Thanks for bumping this, Iddy.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-22-2009
Thu, 03-15-2012 - 9:48am

Clarity wrote this in another thread and IMO, it definitely belongs in this thread. Thanks, Clarebear

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How fishing sucks...let me count the ways

1.

Be where you are; otherwise you will miss your life. ~ Buddha
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-19-2011
Wed, 04-04-2012 - 12:28pm

I was asked by a member to repost this from another thread, and I am happy to - These were some thoughts on NC and the blessing of the fish who did not bite my line...

I consider myself to be the recipient of NC. As of 6 months ago xAP has made no attempts, and I am the one who still sent a few emails that got ignored. I suffered through withdrawal that was of his doing and boy did it hurt but I have to thank him for giving me the gift of silence and removing the drug and the rewards for contacting him.
As long as he was messaging me I was feeling that high mentioned by other posters and then only to come crashing down. The low of NC sucked but at least the roller coaster ride had stopped.
As much as I admit I am still feeling pain and craving his contact, he has done the absolute best thing for me by ignoring me and letting it go once and for all. As easy as it may have been for him to keep a little contact here and there, answer my messages, etc, it would be devastating for me, more than he could ever know. And that is what I suppose I am trying to tell all the members here who respond to fishing or make contact with their xAP - you may be feeling hurt and struggling with it but it is also the xAP that could be suffering greatly from the contact. Soon as you respond to their fishing, you are giving them another little dose of that drug.
I think the silence is better than the bits and pieces that keep that addiction going. Coming down was awful but powering through it has been worth it.. I have xAP to thank for going silent on me.