newbie...i need support
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newbie...i need support
| Sun, 11-13-2011 - 5:49pm |
Hi. I have been lurking here for two months. You are all so strong and insightful you have helped me as a lurker. I have been afraid to join out of fear that my H could possibly one day see my account. I have been married for 17 years and have 3 kids. I was in an A for 18 mos w a coworker. I tried to end for the third time 2 months ago. I never made it more than 4 days w NC. I kissed him again a few days ago and have now again said its over. I am so frustrated by myself. My H has tried to address issues in our M and reall is a good man. I don't want to hurt him or my children. I know right from wrong. I know I deserve better and so does my family. I know it could never work w my XAP, yet I hurt so tremendously, and I am so impatient with myself for being unable to move forward. I am vowing to maintain NC as I hear from all of you it is only way that works. I need to break my obsessive thinking. I am so scared and in so much pain. I was doing better, then I slipped last week and I am back to square one. I know what I need to do, but I need to reach out to those that can understand. I don't have anyone I can talk to. I have an appointment with my physician coming up to talk about the anxiety and depression I feel. I cannot afford a T nor would my H understand. I know I am rambling, I just wanted to reach out to those that have been in my place. Thank you.
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It would be easiest to not have to see them all the time but you can get through it this time, I promise! I'm 8 months out and never thought I'd make it when others here told me I would... and you will too! Read often and post often. If you need to let it all out more privately feel free to message me and "vent" ;)
Welcome! I am four days out myself and am struggling right along with you. We are both M and not leaving our spouses so we mutually agreed the
I will post more later. My family came home. I actually tried to end it in my head and heart for a year before now. We ended up talking again and getting more involved emotionally after that. Tough stuff. Take care.
Hopeful,
Welcome.
We only miss what could have been. I know I don't miss what it really was.
Start posting in the General Section and you will get more looks and responses and help.
We only miss what could have been. I know I don't miss what it really was.
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