Wisdom and Insights...renewed for 2013
TIME TO REBUILD OUR insight and wisdom thread that CRASHED AND BURNED. this is a perfect post to kick off the rebuilding effort.
CL-WITHclarity...And if anyone feels that a particular post should be here, by all means, bring it here :)
FROM READYTOMOVEON IN RESPONSE TO ?KITTERY 1/2/1327 MINUTES AGO
Kittery, Clarity and RBM pretty much summed it up. Total NC and time are the key words when ending. The first few months are the hardest. We are so vulnerable and in so much pain but pushing through and believing that it will get better keeps us on track.
Posting on here constantly in those first few months saved me. When we delve into ourselves and write it out and when we post on other's threads of struggle, it reiterates to our minds that we are done and we are moving forward. I remember someone once posted about trudging through snow. We don't get snow here where I live in Australia so I had to pretend it was a bush walking trail instead but our brains have paths and we trudge down the same ones over and over until the path is well and truly worn. During the affair, the path gets dirty and sludgy but we still walk it even though it tires us. Til eventually we realise that path is no good for us. It hinders us and we have to spend so much time washing off the mud everytime we walk it. So we have to make a new path. And it seems hard because it is not carved out for us. We come across hurdles and it would just be so much easier if we go back to the old path. But the beauty about the new path is despite the hurdles and the hard work, we are still clean. Making a new path in your brain means telling yourself you are worth more, you are done and you will never go back. It is teaching our brains that it is okay to feel sad and all the emotions that come with ending an A but we are going to try something different now. We are going to start listening to our heads and letting them lead the feelings for a while. And when we do that a new path begins to form. And the beauty of it is this - it crosses over to all areas of our life and that is what makes walking the new path worth while. For when we rebuild after a storm, we get to rebuild something better if we want, with a stronger foundation.
Don't give up, do what needs to be done and start believing that you are worth a new path.