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| Thu, 04-07-2005 - 12:21am |
i just want to vent .......
i have no where to go right now, i have some friends but my story gets old to them ...
u all know i work with OW, we have IC again on march 25th, since then she is back to her old way, i was fooled again to say the least
i know i made a mistake again, im just upset at myself , i dont know how to say it but she asked me if i still want to have a relationship with her, she told me right now she cannot be with me 100% because of her situation, but she also told me we can have sex once a month if i can keep my emotions to myself especially at work
im realy not kidding, this is what she told me ..........
i dont know who i am anymore, i used to be a very independent person, i was relative happy and content of myself, i have no financial problems , i live a good life and now i am not even sure what to do with my life, i dont have any long term goals, it is unbelievable what my relationship with OW has done to me, im in the abyss right now
im wanted to cry but i cannot anymore, i wanted to be mad but i cannot be mad at her anymore, she told me to leave her alone but once a month we will get together and have sex
somebody pls take me out and just shot me
max

Max
That would be shooting the wrong person.
Look my son quit that damn job and flip burgers if you have to to get away from her, SHE BE SICK IN THE HEAD and she is dragging you down with her. Don't believe that bullcrap she is telling you about her looking for a job, GET OUT OF THERE MAX.
Free
I think i need to get therapy...because my mindset is of one of "unfairness" and i am angry and sad..to the point where ive cried everyday for months now. (too much time on my hands..not used to it). Dammit, Ive never used anyone in my life, I just thought being responsible and trustworthy and loving and nurturing was enough. Apparently I need to be a skanky, bitchy, needy person who is divorced with kids or something...i am seen as damaged goods? go figure.
(to those who are divorced with kids...that is not written as you may see it...just as an afront particularly to the last two relationships ive had who have left or got booted...and then hooked up with the above in both cases)
Max...please...keep seeing your therapist. I find a small comfort in knowing...things only HAVE to get better....and i read my 2005 astrological forecast as well lol
::::::::::::::::::hugs to you::::::::::::::::::::::::::: we have to know we are not alone, and that there is a reward for being good people...that perhaps just have attracted bad ones. That we are worthy of good things and that they will come as long as we take care of ourselves and also put effort into life. There is no other alternative...UNDERSTAND THAT??
lizzie