1 month away from Vetville -D-day- not doing so well
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1 month away from Vetville -D-day- not doing so well
| Tue, 11-23-2010 - 9:33am |
I will become a Vet 12/23/10.
| Tue, 11-23-2010 - 9:33am |
I will become a Vet 12/23/10.
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CSN,
I just wanted to offer my sympathy and hugs as well. A DDay for those of us who ended before having one is certainly one of our worst nightmares. I am absorbing everything written here. I think T for you is a must. It can only do good and help you get your mind to a place where you can make rational decisions about yourself and your future, whatever that may be.
Just wanted you to know you are not alone. We are thinking of you. I am wishing you much strength, calm and a healthy outcome for all involved. So sorry for this to all come crashing down, especially this time of year. My heart hurts for you.
Hugs to you Couldn't-
Alcohol has been a mistress in my marriage the entire 19 years.
CSN...sorry I'm a bit late in offering my support, but wanted to come on here and offer it regardless.
CSN,
I'm so sorry that you are suffering--you sound exhausted. I don't have any words to add to the sage wisdom of the others beyond telling you that I am thinking of you and sending you warm wishes for comfort and strength.
My heartfelt thanks to all of you for you support and guidance.
Hi CSN- I'm sorry to be so late in chiming in.
(((CSN)))
Apologies for chiming in late.... i have been in M-saving mode and survival mode..... We are now 7 weeks post Dday...not sure how much things have progressed
New Choices, New Chapter,
New Challenges,
Hi CSN,
Oddles of cyber (((Hugs))). You’ve received a lot of great advice. Some of the advice I have a different take on and will share some of my thoughts later in my reply.
So sorry to read about your D-day. I too had one three and a half years ago and like NC a third party told my DH.
I’m glad to read that your DH is in the guest room. I believe in some form of separation if one or both parties feel they need that space. My DH and I separated for two weeks. Your DH likely has/will experience a lot of anger and it is best to have some distance so you don’t become a toxic dumping ground for his hurt and anger.
Whether you think you can or you think you can't you are probably right. A parrot can repeat what it has learned but the mark of true intelligence is applying what is learned.
WWWM,
When I saw this in your reply:
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It brought back a lot of memories. I remember thinking this same thing and voicing it to a family friend that was there for both my H and I after D-day, “How can my H forgive me for this? This is bigger than anything he has ever done to hurt me or erode our M.”
Luckily the person I was speaking to (my pastor) had some amazing advice for me. He told me that if I was to take everything my DH did to hurt me throughout our M a put it in a pile, that pile would be just as big as the pile I had created by having my A.
It really put things in perspective for me. There are other ways to betray a S that are just as hurtful and damaging as having an A. M is not a score card with plus and minus columns.
Whether you think you can or you think you can't you are probably right. A parrot can repeat what it has learned but the mark of true intelligence is applying what is learned.
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