1 wk, still thinking of him, but I'm ok!
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1 wk, still thinking of him, but I'm ok!
| Thu, 03-04-2010 - 11:57am |
This is the 7th day since I last spoke to him. He sent the last email and I haven't responded--although it wasn't the kind that really needed a response. :(
Since our communication has dwindled to about once every week or so, he really doesn't know that I've gone NC!! Of course, it was only Monday that I decided I''m done with it so maybe I'm really only on day 4. Hmmm....help me with that, Iddy.
I'm doing okay. I'm really kind of surprised. I think I only thought of him about 15 times yesterday, instead of once every 10 minutes throughout the day!! I still wake up thinking about him, though. My heart is half filled with happiness and half filled with sadness.
I am so fortunate that this

Alwayst~
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I'm going to give you the whole week. No Contact is no contact. Have you blocked him so he can't contact you? Sorry if you have already written about this...I just have so many of you to keep track of and the old brain isn't as sharp as it used to be. ;-) If you've blocked him from your cell phone and email account, then you remove the temptation to read emails or look at texts. It's all about being pro-active now, honey.
Anyway, a week is huge. They will add up before you know it. Keep plugging away, reading here for strength, and when thoughts of him enter your head, imagine a BIG RED STOP SIGN and says the word STOP out loud. . ;-) It's all about reprogramming our thoughts. The stop technique has worked for many.
Happy Thursday to you to, honey.
(((Hugs)))
~Iddy~
Dear Alwayst
I agree with Brighterdays. I am still pretty new at this (35 days), but I have learned the power and necessity of self protection. If you truly want this to be OVER, it has to be over... door shut completely, all windows locked down. Don't even allow a crack for him to slip through. You have to protect yourself. You will thank yourself for it down the road.
Jane
NC/LC since January 28, 2010
http://secretlifeofjane.wordpress.com/
A~
~Iddy~
He really hurt me 20 years ago when we had our DDay. At the time we were having the A, I did not know he was married. It was after my H found out (actually I had to confess to him before someone else told him, because that scenario was immenent) and I told xAP about my confession, that he told me about his wife and was scared to death that she would find out. DH was out to fry xAP and a big brou-ha-ha errupted over the A when word of it leaked out in the "community." Within two weeks of DDay, I took my two-year-old and three-year old and hopped on a plane to the opposite coast one morning while H was at work. He never knew I left until he got home that day. I spoke to xAP and told him where I was and that I had left my H. For some stupid reason, I thought he would come to my "rescue." Instead, he said he thought we should probably never talk or see each other again. That hurt. A lot. We were in our mid-20s.
Fast forward 20 years. He is a
Alwayst~
Thanks you for sharing your story, as painful as it is. You sound like one strong lady and that is why I keep harping on you to end this A with class and dignity. If you block him and walk away now, never to talk to him again, this shows who won. You know damn well he's going to contact you again so I don't know why you need this validation. You see, it's really not that at all. It's JAM who once hurt you deeply, who crawled back into you life and should have been stomped on then. Well, water under the bridge, but now you can take back your dignity by "holding your head up high" just knowing that YOU have sealed the door and windows so no more creepy crawlers invade your domain.
<<>>
I thought you were going to ignore him if he made contact? Are you saying you are going to tell him it's over? 'Splain, Lucy, 'splain....
((Hugs))
~Iddy~
alwayst~
I haven't posted on here for quite a few days, and right now I'm not going to go into detail about why I haven't as I have a heap of stuff I need to sort out and deal with before facing up to where I am and where I need to be.
Needless to say, I was one of those people who was heading along the right path, was doing 'well' (whatever that is!!) hit around 6 weeks of NC then my world caved in again. Yep...fishing from xAP. Where I live, we can't block numbers. And my H didn't want me to change my number. I also didn't think I'd need to as I surely didn't believe xAP would fish. But he did. And my addiction got the better of me.
So I'm working on myself...IC and lots of self reflection etc etc etc. And until I sort things out properly I know I can't be here with my head up. So I really just wanted to say, that you soooo don't want your xAP to fish. You don't. Believe me...you really don't. You THINK you do, and you THINK you'll be able to ignore it. I really believed that too. But in a moment of weakness, which came about from a number of reasons, I gave in. And now I have to face the music.
Stay Strong, Be Strong!!
Take care and best of luck with your NC
xx