10 days of NC and all heck breaks loose

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-10-2008
10 days of NC and all heck breaks loose
5
Mon, 02-15-2010 - 9:08am

I wasn't exactly indifferent about him.

I deserve my Dignity.
NC since 2/4/2010
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-07-2009
Mon, 02-15-2010 - 10:16am

DP~


First I would like to send some hugs and strength because that has to be scary. it sounds to me that your XMM had gotten careless again and left some incriminating evidence around for his W to find, which suyrprises me

   ~Iddy~ 


iVillage Member
Registered: 01-25-2010
Mon, 02-15-2010 - 11:08am
Yikes! That can't have been a good call to get (in general in that it was xMM, and specifically 'that call').
It's been almost a month since 'I just can't do this' and one week of NC, no DDay for us (I'm S), but there were a few 'close calls' in that some suspicions had been raised, but nothing direct or anything ever asked directly. Regardless, I understand that a discovery could happen at any time, even a long time after the A is officially over. We are also LD, so I don't think I would get a 'visit', but if I was ever called - I think I'll echo Iddy (and yourself) in that 'ask your H, I'm out of this' is what I would go for. Besides, what can you really say? I can see how it would be tempting to say a thing or two considering the 'party line' is that you've never met, etc. But, how he/they chose to deal and handle things...isn't your concern anymore. She/they can get no satisfactory answers from you; there's nothing that you could say or do (at least, I don't think? I could be wrong. Maybe there is? In my case, I don't feel there is. I could apologize, I suppose - but, that doesn't undo everything. And now, I'm rambling! :p). I'm hoping, for your sake, that she doesn't make contact (and that he doesn't either!) and that you don't get dragged back into a mess that you were just getting out of. But, if that does happen I think you've got some good ideas on what to do.
((hugs!))
----
'It may be that when we no longer know what to do,
We have come to our real work,
And that when we no longer know which way to go,
We have begun our real journey'
- Wendell Berry

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-10-2008
Mon, 02-15-2010 - 12:08pm

Yes, Iddy.

I deserve my Dignity.
NC since 2/4/2010
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-10-2008
Mon, 02-15-2010 - 12:09pm

Thanks wc..it really helps to know I"m not just shouting into the wind.

I deserve my Dignity.
NC since 2/4/2010
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-07-2009
Mon, 02-15-2010 - 12:11pm

I can only imagine what getting that call would be like - actually I have been spending some time thinking about it. He has told me in the past that he would 'deny, deny, deny' - and he has been confronted by her almost since day one.