17 weeks

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-15-2010
17 weeks
Sun, 01-13-2013 - 8:47pm

17 weeks

It has been 17 weeks of NC.  The only way I could get here was to quit my job. No, I don’t have another job lined up.  But I have never been happier, absolutely, downright, happy!

He’s MM, kids, I’m single, no kids.  It was EA for about 9 months, PA for about 4 months. Ended A in early 2010 but I continued to work until well, 17 weeks ago.  Up until then, it was sheer hell every single day for me.  I continued with Indiv. Counseling throughout my tenure there and also took anti-deps.  I am off the meds and every now and then, I go for IC.  To be bitterly honest, I stayed at my job after breaking up becuz I still had a teensy-weensy itsy bitsy microscopic bit of “hope” that we would get back together (gag…).  I truly think I simply wasn’t ready, or strong enough, to quit my job wo another one lined up (actually, I wasn’t letting go of the A).   I then finally realized that I HAD to leave for my life, my sanity. and by this time, I was finally strong enough to jump the stagnant ship. 

Since my departure, I have had other wonderful job prospects come up.  I cannot complain; things Are getting better all around for me. 

While I realize what I did, quitting with no job lined up, may not be suitable for those going thru work-LC, what is important is to stick to NC 100%.  It truly works. (I had blocked all forms of communication from xmm.  I NEVER want to hear from him again, in any manner.)  I do think of xmm every once in a while, I won’t deny. I have my ups and downs, of course, but it is so much better for me since I left.   It was the best decision I did for me.  LC can be done and after 2 years! of doing LC, I simply couldn’t take it anymore. There was a disasterous, horrible dday also and even with that, I still wanted xmm. Pathetic.  I had to do what I had to do for me. Leave my job. 

All I wanted to do was share a little bit of my experience and to let you know that you WILL get there…..to Peace,  to Respect..to Loving Yourself…….to Happiness…again…You Will Get There!.....but it takes A LOT of work.  And it also takes A LOT of TIME.  No Contact is the only way to go. 


PS-I posted my story a long time ago at EAS before this awful switchover and I couldn’t find it.  I sure hope these boards come back alive. What a sham(e)



Avatar for ratherbeme
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2010
In reply to: sisterchange
Sun, 01-13-2013 - 8:56pm

Welcome back. 

Your discription of ending it, makes all of us vets sound like we have it figured out. Cool

You are well on your way. I'm very positive about that.

Keep posting, keep the faith. 


We only miss what could have been. I know I don't miss what it really was.

Avatar for wClarity
Community Leader
Registered: 11-04-2012
In reply to: sisterchange
Mon, 01-14-2013 - 12:47pm

17 weeks NC!  Excellent!  And thanks for sharing how well you are doing.  Posts like this can really inspire others...to help them stay their course.

I'm sorry about having to leave your job, but sometimes we just gotta do what we gotta do.  I'll keep my fingers crossed that something pans out with the other job prospects.



Community Leader,

Ending an Affair Support Board

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-15-2010
In reply to: sisterchange
Mon, 01-14-2013 - 10:18pm

RBM and Clarity,

Thanks for the supportive words.  It was a hard, and scary, decision to leave my job with nothing lined up. But I had planned for this scenario awhile back and saved $$$ for the jump. It paid off: I just received a long-term contract that may lead to permanent.  Woohoo!!  Sometimes you just gotta roll the dice and see what happens. 

And in regards to not seeing xmm again was a gamble I most definitely wanted, no...Needed.....to do