Thanks so much for your support. I have gone NC before and I am the one that usually breaks it, but I am determined this time not to. This time seems so much harder from the get go, I guess it is just because this is the 1st NC after turning from an EA to PA. Good luck to you too today and I know I don't have alot to offer either, but I am here for you.
Hi livin, good for you coming here instead of contacting xap. Maybe for the next while you can change your routine in the mornings. I find it does help and it helps keep me focused on what is important for me:) With facebook I found deleting any access to xap was the best thing to do. It brings up to much emotion to even see the slightest reminder. It will get easier in having nc, just keep sticking to it and the realizations you will have will be amazing:)
Thanks for your support. Yes, today I realize that I have to change my morning routine, it is too easy to slip up and fall back on old habits. I am going to have to avoid the computer first thing in the morning because email was our main form of communication. I deleted that email account yesterday as soon as I told him that I didn't want any further contact from him. So that way if he responded back, I didn't have a chance to look at it or respond, so it wouldn't weaken my resolve. We haven't been FB friends for awhile, I unfriended him during a previous period of NC, but I still stalked his profile. It is so nice to have other people to talk to who have BTDT because I can't talk to anyone in RL. I think it will make NC easier to stick to.
I don't know if this will help or if it's do-able for you...but I used to tell hubby I felt I was spending too much time on the computer and would ask him to take the mouse into work with him. That way I couldn't use it. I made a joke of it and he took it in good humour too.
All of my contact with AP is when I am at work and I sit in front of a computer all day, so that wouldn't work. I just have to be strong and have willpower.
Hi livin, sorry about my other post, I pressed post by accident:) I think it's very good you deleted the email account you used, the less means of communication the better. Try working on staying away from his profile on fb, when you feel the thought come on to check, redirect that thought to something more positive and check something fun or meaningful to you personally on the computer. It will take work but you can do it:)
Welcome, you are at the right place, this board and the people on it are just amazing, they have all BTDT and offer life/soul saving advice. I'm a newbie too, 4 weeks NC, I haven't got much time but i quickly wanted to share with you that i replaced my habit to email/chat online to XMM, with logging onto this board. It really helped me. Livin' you will go through a plethora of emotions, the key is to always remember back to why you decided OUT, and stay focused on that.
hi, I'm right here with you, NC day 6 and trying very hard not to make contact.
Thanks so much for your support. I have gone NC before and I am the one that usually breaks it, but I am determined this time not to. This time seems so much harder from the get go, I guess it is just because this is the 1st NC after turning from an EA to PA. Good luck to you too today and I know I don't have alot to offer either, but I am here for you.
Thanks for your support. Yes, today I realize that I have to change my morning routine, it is too easy to slip up and fall back on old habits. I am going to have to avoid the computer first thing in the morning because email was our main form of communication. I deleted that email account yesterday as soon as I told him that I didn't want any further contact from him. So that way if he responded back, I didn't have a chance to look at it or respond, so it wouldn't weaken my resolve. We haven't been FB friends for awhile, I unfriended him during a previous period of NC, but I still stalked his profile. It is so nice to have other people to talk to who have BTDT because I can't talk to anyone in RL. I think it will make NC easier to stick to.
I don't know if this will help or if it's do-able for you...but I used to tell hubby I felt I was spending too much time on the computer and would ask him to take the mouse into work with him. That way I couldn't use it. I made a joke of it and he took it in good humour too.
Welcome, you are at the right place, this board and the people on it are just amazing, they have all BTDT and offer life/soul saving advice. I'm a newbie too, 4 weeks NC, I haven't got much time but i quickly wanted to share with you that i replaced my habit to email/chat online to XMM, with logging onto this board. It really helped me. Livin' you will go through a plethora of emotions, the key is to always remember back to why you decided OUT, and stay focused on that.
Thinking of you
V888
xxxxx
Livin it is tough to keep NC so please do not beat yourself up.