2 weeks LC....struggling

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-01-2011
2 weeks LC....struggling
30
Mon, 04-04-2011 - 12:20pm

Hey all - need to splurge .....

Am having a downer of a day today - really am struggling to refocus and keep mind away from xAP (who is my manager at work)

"Not until we are lost do we begin to understand ourselves." ~Henry David Thoreau~

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-2010
Tue, 04-05-2011 - 6:31pm

I agree with RBM:

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-01-2011
Wed, 04-06-2011 - 11:17am
Thanks for all the advice re fishing. Had a good day today almost getting a glimmer of what jeanie said. Had a work conversation for two mins and for that time felt nothing!!! It was good and gave me hope for moving towards indifference. I know may have other bad days buy am letting what good ones I have fill me up. Thanks for your insights Kat And Melinda re getting easy attention.

Don't know if fishing or trying to be friendly to maintain work relationsip - but who cares. I am focusing really hard on family at home and seeing them respond - so am loving that.

Tuff & blueroses - how u doing?

Yellowone

"Not until we are lost do we begin to understand ourselves." ~Henry David Thoreau~

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-24-2011
Wed, 04-06-2011 - 1:15pm
Hello Yellowone, I am happy to hear you are doing well! Irbid nice when the hold eases off isn't it? I am at work right now listening to exAP talking in another area... His voice bothers me still but not as much as it used to. I have to sit in a meeting with him later today (with about 15 other staff) and that'll be as close as we've been for weeks. I'm anxious about it but like I keep reading: I have to deal with the awkwardness because I chose to have an A with someone I work with.
Avatar for blueclouds1627
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-26-2011
Wed, 04-06-2011 - 3:21pm
Hi yellow....I'm home today. I had oral surgery yesterday and took the day off. However, word got around work and I've gotten a few texts. And one of them mentioned that xAP asked her to tell me that he hopes I'm feeling better. WTF? He can't manipulate me at work anymore, so now he's getting to me through others? How pathetic is that? I didn't even respond to my friends comment about him. Well my kids are home on spring break and taking good care of me. Oh, how I cherish them! Yellow, I am SO proud of you having a conversation with him and being able to walk away unphased. But, be careful...I did that a couple of times and each time it hit me after I left work. I thought over and over about the conversation, and before I knew it, my thoughts of him were going into other areas. I found that I just really have to avoid him . If I have to talk to him regarding work issues, I try to email him. It can be short, to the point, no emotion. No room for him to put on his "charm"...yuck! You are doing great! You just need to stay the course and keep doing what you're doing. Keep in touch. Tuff?? How are you?
Avatar for blueclouds1627
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-26-2011
Wed, 04-06-2011 - 3:36pm
Tuff, sorry, I didn't go down far enough to see your post...lol. Meetings can always be stressful. Try to sit away from him and his line of sight. Who needs those stressful glances? I also struggle with listening to xAP's voice. At my job I can listen to my iPod, so I crank it up and drown him out. It helps me keep my sanity. Be strong lady, you can do this!
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-01-2011
Wed, 04-06-2011 - 4:52pm
Hi tuff n blue

Hope meeting went well tuff - next time will be easier. Sitting out of line of view is a great idea - will remember that.

Blue - cheek of it using your friends. Well done for avoiding comment on it. My friend also reports to same manager and whilst she knows a bit, I find it very hard when she tells me about the conversations they've had. I hate the fact he gets'nearer to me by talking to her. But nothing I can do - and hell - who cares. I keep saying that and it sure helps - who cares and it just doesn't matter (owe you TU for that gem of a phrase).

Totally iunderstand your point of it hitting me later. Hasn't been too bad but what with my friend have felt a bit unsettled this evening. Am pushing it away though and reading here to ground it again. Grrrrr blooming JAMs.

Let's see what tomorrow brings - check in both of you - I need you !

theyellowone

"Not until we are lost do we begin to understand ourselves." ~Henry David Thoreau~

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-02-2011
Wed, 04-06-2011 - 5:11pm

Hey Yellow!

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-02-2011
Wed, 04-06-2011 - 8:02pm

I think it takes a turn around of thinking to get over a romance. Look at the reality. Did he hurt you? You are more valuable than that! He is a waste of time! Think about what he provided

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-24-2011
Wed, 04-06-2011 - 8:31pm
Blueclouds, I needn't have worried about contact... he is a coward and made sure HE stayed away from me and HE stayed out of my sight. I now believe past bad A's have influenced this strong reaction from him more than disliking me but it still hurts, the avoidance. I know its for the best but it still hurts. The meeting went well actually and his presence didn't bother me as much as I thought it would. VICTORY, small but needed nonetheless. I hope you are feeling ok after surgery, keep going with NC... he'll catch on eventually.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-2010
Wed, 04-06-2011 - 11:36pm
jeannie2011
iddy does roll calls often once a month
try a search for one to see if you can find it on this barod...there was one not too long ago
let me know if you find it!
melinda

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