26 hours of NC
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26 hours of NC
| Thu, 02-19-2004 - 12:57pm |
This is very tough, even though I know in my heart and my head he was never going to leave he was milking this for as long as I ALLOWED him to, it still hurts, it hurts that his life is still the way it was 4 years ago, when this nightmare started, it hurts that life goes on for him like it did yesterday, last month, 4 years ago and it will tommorow and next month. I am left so sad, wondering how I could have loved a man who has just accepted it is over and moved on, was I seriously thinking he would call me and say OK OK I am leaving her I do not want to lose you. Come on I am old enough to know better, why was I such a sucker, DO they ever leave?? The thing that hurts the most is he has been in my life almost 9 years. He chased me for 5 years before I finally gave in, so this man has been pursuing me and in my life day after day for almost 9 years, now he is gone, I am so sad, what do I do next???? I am sure that my XH getting married last weekend does not help matters, I left him and really expected a future with this man and I am alone with 2 kids and he is married living financially secure, I guess I got what I deserve huh?? How long before you count the minutes and hours of NC and it gets easier??

Think of this:
In all the years you were involved with this chicken, whom would you rather be? The wife whom he is obviously not in love with, or the OW, the girl whom he was romantically and sexually in love with?
I used to ask myself this all the time. My answer was definitely NOT the wife. I'd always rather be the object of his affection, the one he desires.
The wife just doesn't fulfil all of his needs. He needs her more than he loves her, she is a part of his long term 'business' plan...household manager, maid, nanny, the one that is 'safe' to be seen with.
You sound so together really. You deserve someone that can't live without you. I hope you find him sooner than later.
Hugs!
Annie