3 days in to tweenerville my Dday hits

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-25-2010
3 days in to tweenerville my Dday hits
56
Mon, 10-11-2010 - 1:14pm
So xAPs W deciced out of the blue to contact my H tonight and told him everything..needless to say he is gutted the children are inconsolable ..i am the devil incarnate and he has kicked me out how do i make him listen ...how do i make him see we had already chosen spouse and family over xAPhe is talking divorce..i had started the hard yards...we had re. ..connected...things were good .. . ir eache? d93 days now this....cr@p H wont even talk to me..hates me wants a D...says he will find a lawyer tomorrow what do i do? He knows i love him..that i want my family i guess balls in Hs court now
NC x

New Choices, New Chapter,


New Challenges,

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-10-2010
Tue, 10-12-2010 - 10:40am

NC, I'm so so sorry to hear you are going through this!

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-20-2009
Tue, 10-12-2010 - 10:42am

NC-

No matter what, you absolutely cannot sign or agree to _anything_ right now, not in the state you're in.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-16-2009
Tue, 10-12-2010 - 6:04pm

NC, It is very much like a BS to want to know all the details.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2007
Tue, 10-12-2010 - 10:59pm
Thinking about you. The hardest thing to do is waiting to see what's going to happen and giving him the space to let him process. . Just try not to get defensive and stay calm. The best thing you can do is be prepared for anything. And like the ladies here said Do Not Sign Anything!!! Take care of yourself. Hugs!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-04-2010
Tue, 10-12-2010 - 11:12pm

NC,

I have been away for some time and just read this whole thread and my heart is going out to you.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-22-2010
Wed, 10-13-2010 - 12:10am

Just wanted to let you know I am still here, as is everyone else, and thinking of you very deeply with lots of prayers in my heart for you.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-13-2010
Wed, 10-13-2010 - 1:42am

Dear NC,

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2009
Wed, 10-13-2010 - 8:07am
NC- I am so sorry that you are having to go through this, but YOU WILL SURVIVE. I say that from experience. I also wanted to comment on mstrmstr post. 'Disclosing any and all facts that you have about the affair is the only way to rebut the things that have been said or assumed about you by your H and it may well be your first and last opportunity to show him that you are still capable of honesty. My W failed to do this fully in the days after D-Day and it did significant damage. ' I made this mistake for alittle while Post D-Day. They call it trickle truth and it just sets you up for failure. Just get all your 'stuff' on the table now. It may seem overwhelming and like you are throwing gas on a fire, but you will be glad later. There is not need to cover it up anymore, this is your chance to truely come clean about anything and everything you've done to hurt your H. Having said that, I also believe you should not sign anything or or make permanant decisions right now. Everything is far too raw. Give him all the info he wants, let it settle, and then make decisions.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-29-2009
Wed, 10-13-2010 - 8:28am

You are on my mind, NC.

silence is eloquent, silence is dignified, silence is heard. ...
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-16-2009
Wed, 10-13-2010 - 9:49am

NC

Just checking in to see how you are doing.