3 questions for those who have ended A's
Find a Conversation
3 questions for those who have ended A's
| Sun, 01-30-2005 - 12:34am |
Hi everyone,
I have 3 questions for those of you who have really and truly ended your A's:
1) How long have you been broken up?
2) How long was your A?
3) When it ended, were you
a) both still in love with each other but outside issues forced you apart,
b) one of you fell out of love and ended it with the other still really wanting it,
or
c) other (please elaborate).
Thanks!
Loves

Pages
Hey loves...are you considering ending your A? Or have you?
I remember seeing you alot on the AS board.
To answer your questions:
1. We have been broken up officially for a couple of weeks. Although our time together was dwindling down for about 2 months before I decided to end it and actually say the words. We have ended things before, but this time is for good.
2. The A lasted almost 2 yrs.
3. We are both still in love with each other, but I made the decision to not have an A anymore because I want more for myself than a few stolen moments here and there. Also, he wanted to cut down on the drama at home right now, so he started pulling away from me. I decided that I didn't want the roller coaster ride anymore.
Hope this helps!
1) How long have you been broken up? FOR ABOUT 3 MONTHS
2) How long was your A? LITTLE OVER 3 MONTHS
3) When it ended, were you
a) both still in love with each other but outside issues forced you apart,
b) one of you fell out of love and ended it with the other still really wanting it,
or
c) other (please elaborate). HE WAS NOT IN LOVE WITH ME. HE IS TRYING TO FIND SOMEONE TO HELP HIM ESCAPE HIS MARRIAGE THAT FITS THE CRITERIA ...SOMEONE THAT IS WILLING TO JUST PUT UP WITH HIS WHIMS THAT TEND TO BE SUPERFICIAL, SELFISH, AND ESCAPIST. HE IS (IN MY OPINION) ADHD, HATES TO FACE GRIEF, WANTS "HAPPY-G0-LUCKY" TIMES, AND AN OPPORTUNIST. HE IS AN IRAQ WAR VET THAT GOT OUT OF THE ARMY AFTER 11 YEARS BUT SERVED IN IRAQ FOR 1.5 AND SAW THAT IT WAS NOT THE EASY ROUTE OF LIFE ANYMORE...OMG EMOTIONALLY STUNTED AND IS STILL TO THIS DAY MAKING VERY BAD CHOICES AT EVERYONE'S EXPENSE. HE STARTED SOMETHING WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE FIGURED OUT I WAS A GROWN UP. puh...did me a big favor...I love what I love about him...but I do not love his selfish-at-all- cost side of him. He is 31 and I am 39...big emotional difference. I feel sorry for him and worry about him but I do this at a total distance now...not knowing what has happened to him...I will always wonder. I remain a single woman. Perhaps because of this experience...I always will. I do not trust legal marriage anymore. I would not want to be humiliated...if a man wants out...leave. Boyfriends will not have a reason to stay if they don't want to. This is the legacy of my experience.
1) How long have you been broken up?
I work with XMM, and I ended the affair (3rd try) 8 months ago.
2) How long was your A?
On and off for 4.5 years.
3) When it ended, were you a) both still in love with each other but outside issues forced you apart, b) one of you fell out of love and ended it with the other still really wanting it, (He was happy with the way things were, but *I* knew the guilt was eating away at him.....I felt it everytime we were together)
Welcome back, Loves.
1) How long have you been broken up?
Ended it initially in Jan 04, backslid in May, so official ending is roughly 9mos ago.
2) How long was your A?
Roughly 4yrs.
3) When it ended, were you
a) both still in love with each other but outside issues forced you apart,
I firmly believe that love isn't much of a factor since issues don't keep people apart, it's people's individual choices that keep people apart.
b) one of you fell out of love and ended it with the other still really wanting it,
This presupposes it really is "love" rather than needs-meeting that we might have believed is "love" on the part of either party. Until the fog lifts sufficiently to reveal what really lays beneathe it, we have no way of knowing which it really is.
c) other (please elaborate).
I decided that I wasn't being shown love or showing love myself in the behaviours required of me in order to sustain such a relationship. Neither his behaviour nor my own were what I considered appropriate role modelling for my daughter. It's not for nothing we say "Monkey see - monkey do" rather than "Monkey say - monkey do."
Strength & peace,
Posie
Hi there Lovesec
We have been broken up since about Aug 2004
We were together for 3.5 yrs
And the reason was (A)
For whatever your reasons I hope this helps....
Take Care
Ladybug.....
1) How long have you been broken up? --13 months.
2) How long was your A? --5+ years.
3) When it ended, were you
a) both still in love with each other but outside issues forced you apart
That answer comes closest, at least to our perceptions of the situation at the time... Time has changed my perspective dramatically.
It was extremely, extremely difficult to let go and move on. But now that I have, I am 100 times happier with my life and with who I am today. Popping in here today just to say "hey!" Hang in there everyone, life gets so much better!
Hi Loves,
1) How long have you been broken up?
- Just over two weeks, with NC.
2) How long was your A?
- Just over 4 months.
3) When it ended, were you
a) both still in love with each other but outside issues forced you apart,
b) one of you fell out of love and ended it with the other still really wanting it,
or
c) other (please elaborate).
- C) other. I loved him too much to let him continue to lower himself to being an unfaithful, deceiptful man. And I love myself too much to settle for scraps. I don't know if he loved me, I'll never truly know. Words mean very little when your actions say so much.
There were no outside issues, we didn't get discovered and he would have liked to continue, but I cared about him too much to let it continue.
Hugs to you!!
"When I meet a man, I ask myself 'Is t
US,
I am so happy to hear you're moving on!!!!!!
Looks like we both found the strength we needed!! Hugs to you girlie, I am so PROUD of you!!!!
{{{{{US}}}}}
"When I meet a man, I ask myself 'Is t
) How long have you been broken up? 4 weeks
2) How long was your A? 15 years
3) When it ended, were you
a) both still in love with each other but outside issues forced you apart,
b) one of you fell out of love and ended it with the other still really wanting it,
or
c) other (please elaborate). Wife is seeking divorce. He doesn't want one(I think it's because he will lose his home, etc.) We are still communicating...he said that he is not going to turn his back on me. That we are going to find a way to deal with this. I am so messed up it isn't funny. Why? Before he dropped this bomb on me, he never told me that he was going thru a divorce. Actually, 3 years; never once telling me but kept seeing me. This past November, he told his management team that he was getting a divorce but not a word to me and continue to see me. Our relationship was great; we were really into one another.We had our ups and downs before but when we are together it was great and these past two months, I felt that we had finally gotten to that place in our relationship that was truly, I can't explain, unbelievable after 15 years together. I was extremely happy. December, still no word and the same thing, he was really into me. Then January came and he finally told me. Mentioned to me that he doesn't love me that he is deeply in love with his wife and has asked her to take him back but..... wants to continue communicating with me and to fina a way to work this out.
I am totally devastated, crushed and messed up. Sick to my stomach. How can you be in a relationship for this long and for the first time tell that you are deeply in love with your wife? How can someone be so into you and then this happens.
Pages