4 those who need incentive to end....
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| Sun, 06-20-2004 - 11:38am |
Today is Father's Day. For all of you out there who are having an affair (either emotional, LD, physical,or otherwise)with a MM who has children, today is one of those "black hole" days where you can't be part of it. How does that make you feel? Don't you wish you could pick up that phone and say, "Hey Big Daddy..have a good one :)" How many of you were able to send email cards? How many had to wish him a good day the last time you were together? How many of you feel empty and hurting inside today because your man is spending it with his wife and kids? Going out to dinner, having family over, spending it with friends maybe at a barbaque, etc. without you. Just remember, a day like this defines just exactly what an affair is. It is a fantasy...it has nothing to do with the real world and life MM has away from you. You are standing outside of his window looking in....AND it nevers gets any better. You will always be last on his list next to family, work, hobbies, traveling, holidays, etc.
I lived like this for almost 5 years. My heart would implode over and over again everytime I was not part of celebrations, not special, not important...and if you think he's thinking about you today, think again. You may trigger a passing thought or two, but more than likely it will be out of guilt. I know I am being "In your face nasty," but one day a month ago I got fed up with being the "Other Woman" and finally faced the reality of the fantasy. It took over 4 long years, but ladies, IT TOOK. I ended it.
True

I see now that I was never a priority to him. Never worth his time, for anything other than sex and that stopped a very long time ago. But you know, things have a way of catching up with people. Maybe one day he will regret how he was towards me and realize that he lost a real good thing. Or maybe not.
I am feeling angry today. And just needed to vent. Have a good day and thanks for your post.
TCOM
Funny thing about Father's Day, when we were seeing each other, he would take pic's with his digital camera which he said he got as a Father's Day gift.
Wouldn't that make you feel guilty if you were taking pic's of an affair partner with a camera your family gave to you?
It would to me. I think in the end, he did feel guilty about everything.
Although I don't really feel guilty, in a way I am accepting the fact that it is over and trying to move on with my life with H.
Dusty
Take care,
True