4 weeks
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| Sat, 03-05-2005 - 11:34am |
its been 4 weeks now since OW ended it, i still think of her, this week so far is the worst for me especially at work
i am trying to get out of the house more, do more things and try to get busy
i was hoping that time will make it easier, im sure it will, its just not my time, seeing her at work always makes me feel sad, i do avoid her at all cost at work but it is imposibble not to see her, we dont say much other than hi but it is hard for me
i have a therapy appointment next week, i hope this will do me good
i still cant believe this is happening to me, OW told me that her heart is with me but her mind is not, so it seems, she has moved emotionally and told me that we could not be friends at all
im so tired of feeling down that ill take no emotions from feeling so depress, thanks all for your help
max

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Max
You need to stop talking to that woman, she is telling you that B/S about here heart for the sake of her EGO, she loves stringing you along keeping you on the hook but she is doing it for her Max not for you.
NO PERSONAL CONTACT OF ANY SORT and you will recover from this, but Max you need to be inforcing it because she is motivated to by self interest to keep you on that hook.
Keep getting out Meet other people, life will be good again in time.
Free
Max,
As an adult you know what is needed to have civil business conversations with your xMW.
And as an adult you know that you can tell yourself to limit your contacts to business conversations only.
Your big head needs to tell your heart that you deserve more than a part time relationship with any woman, including xMW and that you're going to approach and date only single women, because you deserve 100% time availability from your relationship partners, not scraps of time like a bone thrown to a dog.
You can change jobs, however, changing a job doesn't stop the thoughts in your head.
You stop the thoughts in your head.
SO stop.
And stop living the life of a victim. Meet new people. Assert control over your life and emotions.
It's 4 weeks of healing and you're doing great.
Keep going.
cl-nre
hi FREE and CL,
i went out of tyhe house today , been gone since 9:30 am and just came back around 5pm, its been sunny here in the bay area and i was window shopping and went out to lunch by myself
first time i have gone out on my own for a long time, i noticed i have not taught of her but i did when i get idle time around lunch
anyways, i dont want to leave my job, i think OW is looking, she actually told me she is looking to move ,she said she is doing it "for me", i have no idea how to feel and re-act when she told me this, she tild me she has to leave so i wont see her again and so i can move on, i hope its not one of her mind games again
yes, in the future i will only date single women, and not one at work even, i will never have an affair !!!!! no matter what !
i feel good today, been out and got some sun, have to admit that i did think of her still but its nice to be out of the house and i stuff myself with food
thanks Free and CL for all the advice , i know its all up to me to implement them, that is the hard part, but one day at a time
now i have another problem, my boss i think knew about me and OW since i heard him talk to her that its not a good idea to mixed business and pleasure and not to have any sort of realtionship in the workplace, my boss has not talked to me yet but OW told me that she will deny everything between me and her and that she will not talk to boss regarding me and her
oph well, it gonna be fun again next week, its like im training for the "depression olympics" for sure i will medal in this if its a sport, also im seeing a therapist
thanks again to everyone on this board,
max
Max, congratulations on taking time for yourself and getting out of the house! That idle time will do you in....don't allow any!
BTW, you'll have to accept the silver medal in depression olympics...I already own the gold one. LOL Please know it DOES get better....my medal has been tarnishing for quite some time and, IT'S A WONDERFUL FEELING :-)
If you corresponded with OW via company emails, becareful denying the relationship. They can pull up emails from years ago. If you have a good relationship with your boss, I would try explaining how big of a mistake it was and you've learned your lesson the hard way.
Get more sunshine tommorrow :)
Hey Max - it's good to see your message. My healing is just starting, but I think that we all can get through it! You are in the same situation as me, the single person w/the married person who dumped you that you also work with and see every day! Ugh!
I am really really really glad that I found these boards. I think that coming here will help me more than anything else. One of the worst things about this is that there are very few people that you can confide in and get help with. You either are too ashamed to admit to anyone that it happened, or if you do, you are worried of how they will think of you. At least I have my best friend who actually is the one who set me and xMM up and feels so much guilt over that right now :( and my sister and her husband know and have been supportive of me and my feelings. I also was able to tell my mother, who at first reacted as I thought she would - how could you do that? it's just plain wrong! etc etc. Once I explained to her a little bit more, over him being separated at the time, etc she was able to understand more. I still won't tell my stepdad, but my dad knows about what happened. Even though all of these family members know, I am not able to continually talk to them about it because most of them feel that I should just be over it already.
Well - with being here, I think that it's more possible to get through this. I think that you are doing very well, Max, considering the circumstances and what I really really really know are you going through (man, just hearing about a guy crying and not being able to stop just breaks my heart).
Good luck to you and to me and to all of us!
caring - there is no email trail at work, we used 3rd party email, thanks for your advice, i will cross that bridge when my boss if/will comfront me, ok ill take silver :)
fallon - hey , u are more better than i am, only 2 people knew about mt situation right now and both of them are my friends but they are not readily available to talk about, also they do understand but they have warned me before not to get involve with OW
yeap , its funny that i am feeling this, i thought i was realy a hardened person, i thought i was able to handle this, i been in very stressful condition where my life and life of my friends are in jeopardy but for some reason this in more than i can handle, my military experience has not even come close to prepare me for this, i have not cried this much in my life, i remember crying like this when i was a kid around 8-12 yrs old durinng the holidays since i stayed in foster homes and i remember the kids of my foster parents realy being so happy to have real parents
for some reason i was not realy ashamed of my relationship with her, OW was the one who is always hiding, we also will not do PDA when we are out together, she told people at work that she is married so thats it
anyways, i have learned my lesson from this affair, i am still licking my wounds, its getting better is hope, i am able to express myself in this way but i still long for her at the end of the day, but no crying anymore so far, at least its a small step for me
i been reading all kinds of help self type info just to get myself informed and psyched up not to be derpress, we dont need luck, we need to have faith and perseverance to get thru this
hey its live from NEW YORK and its SNL !!!!!!
max
btw im from the SFO bay area and its sunny here , im going out again tomorrow and see the sun
I feel for you. It is a hard road. I am too soon in the NC process to help say it gets better. But getting some therapist time...to help you sort out your toughts, I believe that should help. I am doing it myself.
CD
hi everyone,
today is not a good day for me
i was walking outside our building and i saw OW and another co-worker driving out of the building, this co-worker is realy a jerk and an a**hole and even OW told me before that she despise this person, but i saw her and him driving out the building and she was laughhing and all that, i was outside the building walking getting some fresh air
a rush of emotions came to me, jealously is what i feel !!!, i feel nauseated and i felt like throwing up thats why im writing this post
i cant seem to move on, i realy have bad timing, i saw her came back and she seem so happy and smiling, looks like she had a good time
i am jealous, this is the emotion i am feeling right now
max
:(
im so sad
fallon,
thanks, i realy should not care anymore what OW would do to her life, its not my life anyways, i just wish i did not see them, im jealosu and realy hurt, i cant believe she would go with this person, this person has stolen from her monetarily and still she went with him
oh well, different strokes for different folks, i have a major headache now, i just want to go home, 1 more hr
max
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