5 days No Contact

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-2010
5 days No Contact
19
Tue, 10-19-2010 - 11:42pm

Your vision will become clear only when you look into your heart... Who looks outside, dreams. Who looks inside, awakens. I started looking inside and went NC October 15, 2010

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-2010
Wed, 10-20-2010 - 3:24pm

Iddy,

Your being proud of me, means so much to me!!! Thank you!!!!

I SOO understand the vulnerable / caution thing. I have turned down dates because of it. There is NO way that Im ready to risk putting myself into harms way again and RIGHT NOW - I can't determine who is SAFE. Plus - Its up to my trust in MYSELF to filter out the wrong people. My radar got so MESSED up with all I put up with in the name of "love" ...there is NO WAY in hell, Im going to use THAT radar to form new attachments right now. Not to mention...I dont WANT any attachments right now.

I just want to be alone. I Interact with people - enjoy the expression of my energy and personality while enjoying others...but when its all said and done - at the end of the day i REALLY WANT to be alone.

Thank you for the feedback that you notice Im contributing - I am so CONSCIOUS of just "taking" (People Pleaser) it's really important to me that If Im on My high - I share things that are keeping me up - so that Others can benefit. Even if they just READ and dont respond or post - I know how Ill read something that hits me where Im at - and dont necessarily respond to everything. If something's WORKING for me - I figure SOMEONE LIKE ME - will find it works for them too - and they'll feel a little less lost or miserable for reading it.

Hugs to you, Iddy

Your vision will become clear only when you look into your heart... Who looks outside, dreams. Who looks inside, awakens. I started looking inside and went NC October 15, 2010
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-20-2009
Wed, 10-20-2010 - 3:28pm

Michelle-

You're really beginning to annoy me.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-2010
Wed, 10-20-2010 - 3:39pm

YAY!!!!!

DAMN THAT PHOTO IS FIERCE!!!!!!! GOOD GOD!!!!

You're all that! AND BRILLIANT & solid - I love what you write - It's always this fresh Wow! I wish I would have thought/ Said that. So that's good - I find balance in what you say. Now knowing that you have a background in therapy, it makes COMPLETE SENSE.

YOU ARE SO SPOT ON! It is SOOOO Many perspectives at once! Im juggling the balls of reality - they're all in the air - but IM very AWARE of what each of these perspectives represent. I swear it's probably the ONLY thing that's kept me a head above

Your vision will become clear only when you look into your heart... Who looks outside, dreams. Who looks inside, awakens. I started looking inside and went NC October 15, 2010
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-2010
Wed, 10-20-2010 - 3:43pm

Everytime I question myself Im going to READ THIS REPLY!

Thanks, MOM!!!! :)

I get a certain self indulgence from saying that! wow! A "Mom" that's proud of me!!! :)

Ok...IM WEEPY! today!

wait NO! I lied! IM a blubbering mess at the moment. but for ALL THE RIGHT REASONS.

Im actually having a GOOD CRY right now.

Im a good woman. I deserve to GIVE MYSELF some stability, Peace, Love, freedom from toxicity.

Thanks so much again for your ENCOURAGEMENT!!!

Your vision will become clear only when you look into your heart... Who looks outside, dreams. Who looks inside, awakens. I started looking inside and went NC October 15, 2010
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-2010
Wed, 10-20-2010 - 3:57pm

HAHHAHAHHAHA DEE!!!!!

Your vision will become clear only when you look into your heart... Who looks outside, dreams. Who looks inside, awakens. I started looking inside and went NC October 15, 2010
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-10-2010
Wed, 10-20-2010 - 4:03pm

confusedad2, please tell us your story, we want to know more about you.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-2010
Wed, 10-20-2010 - 4:07pm

Renewal...You're DARLING....

Im glad we got to be on that call together!!! You're reminding me of stuff she said that hit home (alzheimers) :)

I AGREE! Dont get too confident about the 'high". Totally get that! I also - dont want to set myself up for failure.

I just want happiness and peace in my life. and One day - HEALTHY LOVE.

Mourning...Ill allow myself the grief cycle. I've let go of the idea that its going to change, be fixed or what not. The ONLY thing LEFT is acceptance.

I ACCEPT THAT NOT ONLY WAS THE AFFAIR A TOXIC MESS - BUT THAT ANY PART OF IT THAT "FELT" GOOD - IS OVER, DEAD AND GONE.

I deserve better - Like a Phoenix, Im rising from the ashes. A little smelly - but VITAL and ALIVE ! :)

Hugs to you!!! Still Jealous you're on Vacay!

What are you going to do today?!??!?? :)

Your vision will become clear only when you look into your heart... Who looks outside, dreams. Who looks inside, awakens. I started looking inside and went NC October 15, 2010
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-20-2009
Wed, 10-20-2010 - 4:28pm
YOU Rock newlife!!....You are the coolest CONSUMED, HEAT SEEKING MISSLE ON A MISSION I have ever had the pleasure of experiencing....lol...Your drive is so contagious!... Time for me to get busier on me!...Thank you for being so inspiring at 5 days NC... ((hugs))
BE the change that you want to see in the world! Life loves me and I love life! <3
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-17-2004
Thu, 10-21-2010 - 12:38am

Hi Michelle,

You are amazing, your posts are very insightful and congratulations on your no contact.

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