8 weeks, count 'em ...

Avatar for iamdelightful
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
8 weeks, count 'em ...
5
Tue, 04-01-2003 - 2:23pm
I made it to eight weeks of NC, so I wanted to thank everyone for helping me get to this point.

I am crying less. I seem to have turned a corner. Only a week ago I was idealizing the MM like you wouldn't believe, wishing that he would return, begging him to leave his wife and return to me (when alone, in the privacy of my own home).

Today I'm feeling like, "What? Why would I want him? Why would I want someone who treated me so badly? Who couldn't decide if he wanted me or someone else?"

I know that I deserve someone who wants me and only me, and I know this is true for all you single ladies too.

For all of you who are new to the board, and new to NC, let me tell you that it does work. It doesn't work right away. You have to stick with it. You have to go through the crying, the withdrawal, the pain, the anger, the hatred, the helplessness, the hopelessness. But these feelings do pass eventually. And you will feel better. I promise.

So thanks to all of you who have been here for me. I started posting back in November and I don't think I could have left him and stopped contact if it weren't for this board.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 04-01-2003 - 3:26pm
I am so happy for you... and inspired by you... You are right - you absolutely deserve a man who is ALL yours and who wants you and only you...

I'm glad the NC worked for you... wish I could get NC with my XMM, but obviously I'm not willing to make the sacrifices it would take to do so...

Glinda

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 04-01-2003 - 3:38pm
Wow congrats - I am at the 6 week mark this Friday. I too am smiling alot more and alot of the anxiety and depression is fading and things are looking hopeful!!

Keep it up and never go back...imagine what you will feel at 16 weeks (wink)

A pat on the back for you!!

Racy

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 04-01-2003 - 5:23pm
Glinda, I know what you mean! There was a time where I wanted nothing more to do with GB at all! Alas, there are things I'd have to sacrifice that I'm not willing to do at this point. Since he is a business partner/associate of Sean's and I am very involved in the business, I would have to give up working with Sean completely. Our working together has been a great help to us becoming closer again. It gives us mutual ground. There is NO way I'd willingly give that up!

~Chris~

Avatar for guardedticker
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 04-02-2003 - 8:25am
YOU ARE DELIGHTFUL!!!!! And I am so happy for you. Thanks for what you had to say to me yesterday when I was in such a tizzy. I think it was just hormones because today things are much calmer. Actually, it was very strange. It was almost as if I couldn't control the anger as it poured out of me. I suppose we all have days like that but it seems I never do. I guess it was about time I dealt with the anger associated with letting go. Again I do have difficulty reading these posts at times especially from folks who are very new to the board because their nightmare has only begun.

I truly hope that you continue with your healing and that each day gets better for you. So glad to hear you are doing well. And you are right! Why would we even WANT someone who seems comfortable with having their life so screwed up??? For me, the best attitude I could take is that I will pray for him and his family because he needs it and go about my own business.

Again, congrats!

GT

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 04-03-2003 - 8:41am
thanks iamdelightful for your encouraging post. i am going into a second month of NC with xMM and being single was and is just as you say, pretty rough. we used to talk every day (week-ends excluded) 3-4 times a day and then ZERO contact so it has been the heavy crying, withdrawals etc. and of course some days now are still memories and hearing certain songs on the radio can open the gates of crying. but i try to "schedule" a certain time to cry and get over it.

but at times i have the "real" thoughts of how could i be with someone who treated me SECOND and thought it was OK. yea... we do deserve better and i imagine you were thinking as i did at times that "oh well, he is better than not having NO-ONE at all." you are right how could i want a man like that!



keep the strength and courage and i will work every single day on mine.

congratulations to you.......rain........