9 months NC and counting

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-15-2009
9 months NC and counting
1
Fri, 11-20-2009 - 1:13am

Hi,

I would like to provide you all an update on my being.

It's been 9 months NC.

A few months back, there was someone who left an anonymous message to me that his new AP is pregnant. And a few weeks back, a friend of mine said his new AP is not pregnant at all...by this time she should be big.

A few days ago, another reminder made me think of him. But no matter what kind of memories floods by brain, I did not dial his number. I was terribly tempted to talk to him but I told myself that if I do, everything will go back to hell. Then, I would drown again in that fantasy world and will definitely have a hard time coping yet again.

I kept my ground and told myself that I am a woman that can be respected. That I want to be someone who is proud of what I do and that I do not need to hide anything. I want to be able to walk anywhere without feeling guarded that one day AP's W will catch me and make a scandal in public. I want to be respected.

I want to be happy. Being happy is being free from all guilt. It is hard up until now not to think of him. Yes I am still processing some guilt. But I know that one day, when everything has been digested properly in my system, I will no longer look back and want him. But rather, I look back without any what ifs. I know that it was the decision of my life that I am most proud of.

To everyone who thinks they cant do it...I assure you that you can. Gather your strength and you will be able to do it. Be determined.

Hugs to all.

Always,
ANL

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-04-2009
Sun, 11-22-2009 - 10:59pm

ANL -


Thanks for your post.

NC since October 2, 2009.

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