Visitor (not verified)
anonymous user
Registered: 12-31-1969
Tue, 09-11-2012 - 1:02pm

Just like 9/11, there are miniature 9/11 in our own personal lives, moments that will forever change our lives. Moments that will turn our whole worlds upside down, and life will never be the same afterward. One of my personal 9/11 was July 13th, 2012. That is the day I told my husband about the affair and that the baby is not biologically his. Just like 9/11/2001, life will never be the same. But just like 9/11/01 I believe it will be something we will always remember, but we will survive, we live through it, we pick ourselves up, we dust ourselves off, and we move on, and in the end we will come out even stronger for having lived through this. Thanks in part to everyone on this board that has given me advise and encouragement. Rather be me was the first to make the 9/11 analogy to me:

It’s time to make some decisions; it’s the 9/11 of your life.  If your fantasy is worth living then go for it.  If reality is worth living then go for it.  Just like the towers coming down, everyone’s life is jeopardy and you need to make some decisions as to what and who you are going to save.

Thanks for all your insight Rather. And I hope me posting will make someone else think about it and start making some very tough decisions.

Hurt now healing (formally hurting need help)





iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2005
In reply to:
Tue, 09-11-2012 - 1:25pm

Afternoon, HNW

I started a 9/11 thread down below for everyone to be able to post their thoughts and any emotions that may come up on this anniversary...and because I need to big time.

Not that we can't contribute to your thread either, but just to let you and everyone know.



iVillage Member
Registered: 07-14-2011
In reply to:
Tue, 09-11-2012 - 6:12pm
9/11 is a big affair trigger for me. My affair started 4 days after the tragedy occurred, 11 years ago. Its hard for me to reminisce about where I was then.
Formerly heartacheafter7years
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-18-2010
In reply to:
Tue, 09-11-2012 - 9:38pm
I was affair free on the 9/11, but I can really relate to how the day I had my first affair. How quickly that one moment of flirting went from what I thought I could handle...and I was so unprepared for the pain to come for the next six years.....most of my own doing. And all those that I hurt....and how it all came to light and how I wounded those that love me for those who did not care about me one slight bit....
and how horribly selfish I was....and the really horrifying things I did...and how I may forever shutter at the thoughts of my horrible behavior.

I admire your honesty and your strength. You have one amazing husband. I hope you get thru and hurt less day by day and you try to shift all of your focus on that precious baby. May it not be a reminder but a source of healing for you.....I pray this for you and your family.

I too was pregnant by exAP. I chose a different route than you. You have my admiration and respect for putting it all in the light. May God bless your family.
Yo Soy EL Capitan de Mi Vida