Aaaaaaaaaaghhhhh!!!!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-03-2005
Aaaaaaaaaaghhhhh!!!!!!
16
Mon, 03-07-2005 - 5:12pm

I’ve been fine so far today. I haven’t cried. I’ve actually been ok. I walked in at the same time as him from the parking garage, had to share an elevator. On first break, I was going up the stairs as he was going down the stairs in the garage. I didn’t say a word to him – passed him by as if he was a stranger. I had to take really deep breaths to my car, though. I wanted to cry but I didn’t

Well, the problem now is that I know that he is flirting with someone over IM – someone who is in a different state, but hey that’s how we started, too. I just happened to move here because my family is here too and I was moving back home. He’s over there typing and laughing and smiling. Remember, I sit facing him at work, so I hear and see everything that he does. IT’S MAKING ME ABSOLUTELY CRAZY JEALOUS!!! Why am I this way? Why can’t I get over it? I wonder does she know he’s married? Are they talking how we used to talk to each other? If so, why is he doing this again when he said he didn’t want to anymore?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-13-2004
Tue, 03-08-2005 - 12:26am

fallon,

i did not know u were this close to him, i am about 20 feet from OW, but she has her office and i have my own office, although we can close the door, it remains open most of the time

u are stronger that u think, i know u can do this, hang in there, maybe we should all u so u will be busy... just kidding, hey if u work for dell i need some help :)

max

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-03-2005
Tue, 03-08-2005 - 12:42am
Oh yeah - we share a cubicle wall right in between us, but the distance we sit is comparable to sitting across from someone in a restaurant booth. The cube wall that separates our desks is only about 6 inches above the desk, too. I did pretty well today. I know it was a lot b/c he didn't try to talk to me, so hopefully that will continue. We are both pretty stubborn, so it will be a battle of wills to see who caves first. I plan on it NOT being me! I've been through this with him several times before, but this time I have this board and I am actually trying to get over it and not doing it so that he'll chase me again.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-13-2004
Tue, 03-08-2005 - 12:47am

wow, i know how close that is, we have cubes here too but the wall are realy high but still i know how u feel about the proximity

we all know that u can do it, its only a matter of time, im sure he will try to reel u in and u have to be strong, anger might work for u so u get pissed off at him

take care,
maybe try to surf the web and do some interesting reading also if u are able to do that

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-03-2005
Tue, 03-08-2005 - 12:59am

<>

Yeah, I was posting on here all day! hahaha Seriously, it helped to post this thread when I got all jealous. I feel like I have somewhere to go now and vent everything. Usually I would have IMd him and asked him how his new tart is doing. In reality, I have no idea if he is really talking to someone. Half the time, I think it's just my jealous paranoia. Anyway, I would have IMd him something really dramatic, and then gotten up out of my seat and gone to the bathroom to cry. Today, I posted here, and then took really deep breaths to calm down.

<>

I'm anxiously anticipating that. He usually gauges whether or not to talk to me on how I am treating him that day, though, with all the times that we have gone through this breakup and not flirt anymore thing. This time was different tho b/c it was me who told him no more. This time the anxiously anticipating isn't "oh when will he want me again and talk to me again?" This time it is more that I am scared that I will fall for it again. I have a different feeling on everything now, so I'm not sure that will happen. Not 100% but pretty close that it won't happen again. I want to be able to not react to him if he tries to suss me out.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-13-2004
Tue, 03-08-2005 - 1:08am

fallon,

r u still at work ?

- give him the silent treatment, give a taste of his own medicine, get upset at him, do whatever it takes so u wont go back to him

is there another person on the opposite side of you other than him, i mean on your other end, try to talk to that person, maybe get more busy and help more of those grunts

i used to be a network support engr in the TAC for cisco and i know how busy i can be, so maybe get busy there at work, handle more call tickets and impress your boss in the process and get a promotion, make the most of this situation, i know its easy for me to say but just thinking out loud

drive carefully when u get home, pump up the volume and listen to some funky music, no sad music ok

max

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-03-2005
Tue, 03-08-2005 - 1:55am

Left work at 10p. The person who sits next to me leaves at 4, so that leaves more than half the day left. I also can't talk a whole lot to everyone around me since we are pretty busy. We process emails from customers all day and then also take calls from the regular reps who need help answering emails from customers. Today was actually good for me b/c we had to process all day and not take any calls b/c of being behind. I was able to have headphones on, which is not something we can do on a regular day since we have to take calls from the regular reps.

The other thing is that I have to act like everything is ok b/c no one there knows that we had anything together other than a "harmless flirtation". (chuckle) So if I act mad at him or anything like that out of the ordinary then it will raise eyebrows and questions. I can be quiet and not initiate a conversation with him, but I can't really ignore him when the other people are around.

Anyway - I'm here and I survived today :)

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