Aaaak... Delayed Fishing Reaction

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-16-2009
Aaaak... Delayed Fishing Reaction
5
Wed, 04-25-2012 - 3:46am

Some of you may recall xAP's fishing attempt of about 10 days ago now.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-03-2011
Wed, 04-25-2012 - 8:32am
KP nice work in holding back on cyberstalking and your insights are right on. You spared yourself new hurts and this will help reinforce the purpose of NC. Stay behind that safety net and you will continue to heal beautifully. No need to feel foolish either....you did what you were supposed to do by coming here. Love, GH
Avatar for ratherbeme
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2010
Wed, 04-25-2012 - 9:25am

Recognizing what you were doing is the important part, and doing the appropriate thing is giant.

We only miss what could have been. I know I don't miss what it really was.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-20-2009
Wed, 04-25-2012 - 9:40am

Heck, if I were you I wouldn't feel foolish! I realized what you were doing and stopped it in its tracks.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-22-2011
Wed, 04-25-2012 - 2:13pm

Heeeeyyyyy Baby, I also think you should be proud of yourself. Part of what we're learning here is to recognize our own deviousness. And I have to thank this board for that. There are many kinds of stalking, and many kinds of fishing. If your gut tells you you're fishing/stalking, then you know to listen.

Was at the therapist today. Way back when I ended, she asked me on a scale of 1 to 7 if I "trusted myself." Well, at first, I said I didn't, at all. But now I realize that I could ALWAYS trust myself. Why? Because every day of my A, I knew it was wrong. Try as I could to get rid of that feeling, it never left me.

So what I say now is, yes, I do trust myself. That's not the hard part. The hard part is *listening*. I have always known what to do and what not to do. Now I have to learn to listen harder to that voice.

It's clear to me that you're listening to yours. Not to be ashamed. Be proud of yourself, instead.

Bird

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-16-2009
Fri, 04-27-2012 - 4:42am

Thanks for the encouragement everyone. Cyberstalking was always a weakness for me do to the LDA. So I was frustrated when saw I was heading back down that path. But I did catch myself.

And it is amazing to see how far I have come to recognize it and refocus the energy.

You are right I need to reframe this into a success. And reminders of how much more I have tapped into my strength and resolve in recent years. :)