About CSG (venting!)

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-20-2004
About CSG (venting!)
2
Fri, 05-27-2005 - 10:00am

I've given up that (Cute, single, guy) is gonna call me. At least this week! Talk about insecure. I've never been this way, and I think my A made me this way suddenly. I have so many WHY'S running through my head. I had someone tell me that he the reason he hasn't called is because he was just looking to get laid that night, and since I was busy he found someone else. Then I start thinking to myself, well he must've just wanted to see if I WOULD actually give my number, with no intentions of wanting to call. (an ego boost thing.) Then I start making excuses for it, he's busy, it's a holiday weekend, he's shy, he's nervous! Why am I doing this to myself? Normally I really wouldn't give a damn if some guy I hardly know calls me or not! I almost just think I need to feel like there may be someone else out there intersted in me, and it's really bugging me that he's not pursuing me at all. I've turned into an insecure pile of mush. And I blame it all on my A with XMM.

I have 2 questions though. Since he hasn't called this week, what if he calls next week? Should I go out with him? I've heard that if they really want to go out, they won't hesitate to call. I would call this hesitation.

And 2nd, He is a client of mine. I know he will have to come back to see me at work eventually. (probably in a couple weeks.) What do I say when he comes in? Do I bring it up? Ask him why he hasn't called? Just leave it alone like he never asked for my # to begin with? It's gonna make for an uncomfortable situation for me now. I know I just need to chill out. But I really don't know how to act on my own anymore. I'm supposed to just "be myself." But I don't even know who "myself" is. Nothing seems natural to me anymore!!!!

Pal

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-05-2004
Fri, 05-27-2005 - 10:14am

how 'bout psyching yourself up to a lighter, cheekier mood...so that when he does come in ..you can say...with a big fat grin on your face and friendly eyes "heeeyyy....thought you were gonnah call me! hehe" (hard to give intonation online..hope you know what i mean)

yes, chill out...you don't know why he didnt call you...you are much like me and take myself as the reason "what did i do wrong" etc. ...could be a myriad of reasons. Some having NOTHING to do with you. Lighten up a bit or you will scare them away. We are raw from the A thing...thats a whole other ball of insecurities etc.
Easier said than done....but this time try to do ok? Smile, its not like he stood you up.
::Hugs::

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-02-2005
Fri, 05-27-2005 - 12:15pm
He showed interest in you by going out of his way to ask for your number. Maybe he dosen't want to seem too interested since you were unavailable when he wanted to call. There can be millions of reasons why he hasn't called and unfortunately you are not the center of his world. You are someone he has an interest in. Don't waste your time by obsessing over it. Do the things you need to so that when he does call (or someone else) you will be ready for a healthy relationship.