? about events coming

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-20-2004
? about events coming
7
Sun, 04-24-2005 - 8:48pm

Within the next couple weeks there is a weekly event that will be beginning throughout the summer that I had attended quite often last year with MM and his W. ( I would also go at other times without them, with my family and other friends as well.) I'm debating whether or not I should be going at all this year, considering all that has happened since then. I obviously won't be attending with XMM and his W any longer, but I still enjoy the event and I know I'll be asked to go by others. If I do attend, it will be next to impossible not to run into them. (THough, I don't have to associate with them.)

My question is, should I avoid going at all out of respect for his W, so she doesn't have to see me? It was them, afterall who got me involved in the event to begin with, and XMM always told me that it's like his "therapy" to get out there every week. It's always been his "thing", and I don't think it will be very therapeutic for him if I'm there.

Also, to be truthful, I would still like to attend for a couple reasons. It's a fun social event with my friends and family,and feel that I shouldn't have to alter my life for XMM, and most selfishly, because I don't want XMM to think I'm hiding from him or that I'm "uncomfortable" being around him. (Don't want to give him that satisfaction.)
One more tidbit of a reason...there is a really cute SINGLE guy who is my client at work, and he just let me know that he attends regularly also. (And I think he may be interested :) )

So, do you think I should attend anyway? Or should I make other plans out of respect for XMM and his W?

Thanks for your opinions.
Pal

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Sun, 04-24-2005 - 9:13pm
Pal,
I think you've paid enough for the trouble it has caused, and not going to something you enjoy because of them, isn't necessary in my opinion. Let them decide- if they are uncomfortable they can stay home. You know it's over -you might even see the single guy you mentioned..You can be done with the affair and be allowed to attend events that make you happy. If he doesn't like it he'll find another way to relax I'm thinking. After all there are two of them- they can comfort one another if it's so difficult. If I were you I'd just go about my life.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-13-2004
Sun, 04-24-2005 - 9:21pm

pal,

lea is right, attend if u are comfortable, u should not put into consideration XMM and W anymore, if u are single then the more reason to attend, u mentioned that single guy :)

go for it

max

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-20-2004
Sun, 04-24-2005 - 9:53pm

Thanks Lea and Max,

I'm actually kind of excited about cute single guy :)Feels good to look forward to seeing someone other than XMM. (I honestly don't know if he really is interested or not, but he is constantly complimenting me and seems to be flirting with me, I think. ) I guess we'll see what happens.

THank you for letting me know it's ok to attend my weekly event. I kind of thought so but I guess I had to make sure. I value everyone's opinions on here. So much easier to take advice from an outsider of the situation. Only wish I'd thought so WAY sooner. :)

THanks again,
PAL

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-13-2004
Sun, 04-24-2005 - 10:15pm

pal,

in the end, the decision is all up to u, its all what makes u happy

im glad u can look forward to your events with such excitement, its a new beginning

max
:)

Avatar for jennlynnk
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-03-2003
Sun, 04-24-2005 - 10:22pm

Go! Don't you dare not go, i'll kick your butt LOL j/k....

glad i'm not the only one who can't tell when someone is flirting....

hugs,
jen

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-04-2005
Sun, 04-24-2005 - 11:58pm

Pal

GO just try to stay out of each others hair and if XMM tries to get you alone for a conversation REFUSE other then this have fun.

Free

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-05-2004
Tue, 04-26-2005 - 9:39am

Go...and be fabulous...but don't put on a show for xMM...be neutral neutral (and I mean in the fullest sense of the word "be"..not just "act") Don't give your power away but use your power to fuel YOUR happiness.

aaah...i love it when thoughts of someone else (new single guy)...make one happy..i LOVE that stage..and it DOES COME LADIES AND GENTLEMAN. Most importantly, I really feel when the opportunity comes and you are ready...that one has to put themselves out there a lil to feel that. (Hear me Max? even if you don't "feel" like getting into something with someone else....getting attention or seeing how someone ELSE other than your exAP...can be a lightening rod, refreshing, or in the most lowest levels..a diversion at least). That is why i highly suggest marketing oneself...just for the kicks and the "forward thinking" process. It helps, even if just briefly to start the babystep process of getting out of the depression quagmire.

Finally, at some point in a healthy grieving process, your mind or an event lets you LET GO even if in just babysteps. We do tend to grieve for the loss of just the ability to think of our AP as someone significant. When that is released or our heads get turned (finally LOL) by someone else and for a moment we relish the attention or the attraction to someone else...its great...and it only gets easier. One has to work on it if it doesn't happen by accident...and I don't know about you but they rarely come knocking on the door like a salesman lol..(but yes, chance meetings are so much more fun and realistic..but until then...go be out there...live a lil or at least...in this internet age...interact a lil)

Yes, our egos need boosting and it doesn't hurt anything to enjoy it even if just for a brief moment because its like someone handing you a stick while you are sinking. RELISH THE TIME GIRLIE!!