Actions and consequences: an old friend reappears

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-24-2011
Actions and consequences: an old friend reappears
9
Wed, 03-02-2011 - 4:03pm

Last night - out of the thin blue air - I received a message from a guy who I dated a lifetime ago. He was much older than me, a successful

Community Leader
Registered: 06-08-2010
Wed, 03-02-2011 - 7:19pm
Katniss,
Kudos to you for making such a wise decision and involving your H...so easy to go down that other path, but with such devastating consequences. I am hoping and praying that I will be at a point to do the same thing soon...for now I am still scared of that part of myself and I have admitted this to H. But with more communication between H and I, the healing will gradually take place and I will build more confidence in myself and H will build more trust in me as well. This whole thing is fairly new to me (one week out from D-Day) and so I have a long journey ahead.

Hearts <3
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-24-2011
Wed, 03-02-2011 - 8:07pm

Thank you Hearts for taking the time to respond, especially given all that is going on in your life right now. Rebuilding trust is a huge issue for my H and I right now, and yesterday's message was a powerful reminder that ending the A is only the beginning of a long process of growth and healing.

The vulnerable and

Community Leader
Registered: 06-08-2010
Thu, 03-03-2011 - 10:17am

Kat,

I wanted to add that H and I decided together that the whole world of "social networking" be removed from our lives for the time being.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-14-2008
Thu, 03-03-2011 - 12:18pm

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2009
Thu, 03-03-2011 - 3:09pm

Kat-

First- kudos to you for not responding immediately and accepting.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-24-2011
Thu, 03-03-2011 - 8:29pm

Angie, those are great questions and many of your own personal motivations resonated with me.

Why do I want to see him? We were once very close and it would make me happy to know that his life has worked out well and for him to see that my life has worked out well too; I was terribly young when our relationship ended and I guess I would like him to meet the "grown up" me rather than forever remembering me as an immature teenager who couldn't cope with commitment (there goes that "wanting to be liked" thing again); because of a recent change in his job, our working lives will inevitably intersect at some point and if given the choice I would prefer our first conversation

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-25-2011
Thu, 03-03-2011 - 8:57pm

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-24-2011
Thu, 03-03-2011 - 9:16pm

Hi Decade,

That's a great way to think about it - "am I about to do something that

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2009
Thu, 03-03-2011 - 11:40pm

Kat- I can tell that you are taking this seriously and you are doing much soul searching.