Addicted to the drama

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-15-2005
Addicted to the drama
3
Tue, 04-05-2005 - 5:01pm

Okay so I had been doing so good-UNTIL-he called me here at work for work issues. I, then followed up that conversation with a email spilling my heart out. He then sent me this in response to my soul bearing and asking him if he thought I was a basket case: (Kristin is my best friend who thinks I am nuts right now and thinks he is so beneath me-why can't I feel that way??)

NO..... I DON'T THINK YOU ARE A BASKET CASE, AND NO, I DON'T AGREE WITH
KRISTIN.....NOR DO I BELIEVE IN FLINGS........HAD IT BEEN A ONE NIGHT STAND
OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT, MAYBE IT WOULD BE DIFFERENT, BUT IT
WASN'T.........THERE ARE FEELINGS INVOLVED AND THAT CHANGES THINGS.......I
DON'T THINK EITHER OF US WAS THERE JUST FOR SEX.....BUT MORE FOR
COMPANIONSHIP.........VERY GOOD COMPANIONSHIP AT THAT......WE HAVE ALOT IN
COMMON AND ENJOY EACHOTHERS COMPANY AND THAT WILL NEVER CHANGE.....THEREFORE
"JUST A FLING" IS OUT OF THE QUESTION. I COULD GO ON FOR DAYS TELLING YOU
ALL OF THE THINGS THAT I MISS, BUT AT THE END OF THE DAY WE WOULD STILL BE
HERE WISHING THINGS WERE DIFFERENT........BUT THEY ARE NOT
DIFFERENT.......THINGS ARE WHAT THEY ARE....I AM STILL NOT HAPPY WITH MY
CURRENT RELATIONSHIP BUT AT THE SAME TIME I WON'T CHANGE ANYTHING IN FEAR
OF LOSING DAILY CONTACT WITH MY SON.......CHANCES ARE THAT AT A LATER DATE I
WILL BE ABLE TO MAKE THAT DECISION BUT FOR NOW MY SITUATION IS A CONSTANT,
WHICH MAKES IT SLIGHTLY EASIER FOR ME TO PUSH THOSE URGES ASIDE......NOTICE
I DIDN'T SAY EASY....I SAID EASIER...IT WILL NEVER BE EASY......BUT WATCHING
MY SON GROW UP DAY TO DAY BRINGS EVERYTHING ELSE IN PERSPECTIVE.....I GUESS
WHAT I AM TRYING TO SAY IS THAT THINGS ARE THE WAY THEY ARE FOR A REASON. A
GOOD FRIEND OF MINE TOLD ME THE OTHER DAY THAT SHE WAS HAPPIER THAN SHE HAD
EVER BEEN IN HER WHOLE LIFE....SO I ASKED HER "WHAT GIVES?" AND YOU KNOW
WHAT SHE TOLD ME MANDY;.....THAT EVEN THOUGH NOTHING HAD REALLY CHANGED
PHYSICALLY IN HER LIFE, SHE LEARNED TO LOVE HERSELF FIRST...THAT KINDA
STRUCK HOME WITH ME.....I WAS NEVER HAPPY NOR AM I KNOW BUT I AM DESPERATELY
TRYING TO LEARN TO LOVE MYSELF AND STOP TRYING TO PLEASE EVERYONE AROUND
ME.........I GUESS WHAT I AM TRYING TO SAY MANDY.....IS THAT YOU ARE
BEAUTIFUL......I MEAN ABSOLUTELY GORGEOUS.......YOU COULD HAVE ANY MAN YOU
WANT......FIND CONFIDENCE IN THAT FACT AND GO OUT AND GET WHAT YOU
WANT...REALLY........I HOPE ANYTHING I HAVE SAID WILL HELP BECAUSE I MEAN
EVERY WORD OF IT......I HAVE TO GO NOW.......SO WRITE BACK WHEN YOU GET A
CHANCE. HAVE A GREAT DAY.

Anyway so now here I am missing him-loving him-what is wrong with me? I have a wonderful husband at home who adores me and is a pain sometimes but truly loves me. I am so screwed up-I went months with no contact and now boom I am at square one again-HELP?!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Tue, 04-05-2005 - 6:05pm
But how are you at square one? His email is nice..but he does make it clear that he needs to be where he is- and things are what they are etc. He talks about things being a certain way for a reason etc. I didn't read into it that he was trying to get something started up again. If you truly want it over, it still can be over..it sounds like he is just expressing some good thoughts.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-04-2005
Tue, 04-05-2005 - 8:54pm

OK

One don't respond it's over that much is clear so whats the point.

Two BLOCK HIS E-MAILS if you can't then have your network admin do it for you.

Three you said you husband canbe a pain, what would you call a cheating spouse ???, I am sure he is less then perfect but un like XMM he is not cheating on his wife is he so who is worse your husband or this cheating married man, unless you want your husband to be the cheating married man in your life you had better get focused on your home life ASAP.

JMHO

Free

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-03-2005
Wed, 04-06-2005 - 8:46pm

Tormented:

I UNDERSTAND COMPLETELY. I am in your shoes, too. The one thing that struck me about his words to you is his saying that you could have anyone. If someone truly loves you, the LAST thing they want is to see you with someone else. I beleive he cares about you, but he obviously doesn't care enough. Stick with your husband. Forget this guy.