advice on ending of affair
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advice on ending of affair
| Tue, 05-24-2005 - 7:08pm |
My relationship w/ my husband has been shaky for 2 years. We have been married for 11 years and recently I have discovered that I am very dissatisfied with our sex life. He cannot hold out long enough to make the sex enjoyable for me. Instead of talking with him about it, I let things go to the point where I had an affair (1st mistake). The man I met was wonderful, we met at a networking group and immediately were drawn to each other, through the course of events he became one of my business clients (2nd mistake) and now I am in a situation where I have to talk to him on a semi-regular basis. After 4 months the affair ended, we are both working on keeping our relationship professional (if possible), I am heart broken, in most ways, he was the perfect man for me, just the timing was not right. Since the affair ended, I have made an effort to really make things work with my husband, he is great except for our sex life. I have talked with him about the problems and he is trying, it is just not working. The man I had an affair with was incredible in bed, we would spend hours making love. I know I shouldn't compare the two, but I do constantly. Is it wrong to incorporate the stuff I did with my affair into our sex life and how do I go about it? Also, it is wrong to suggest to my husband that he might need medication for the problem he is having? In previous discussions, my husband would blame the problems on me and I would just listen and not respond, it is hard to explain that I know the sexual problems we were having were not my fault because I could have such intense sexual relations with the man in my affair.

Recruiter
Communications is the KEY to solving any problems, so I suggest open honest talk about what you believe the problems are and how ro solve them...your husband is trying you said so introduce new ideas he does not have to know were they came from, pick up a few good sex books to read together.
Good luck
PS: until you live with someone 24/7 for about 10 years you have no idea if there PERFECT for you, affairs live in a fantasy bubble that rarely survives long in a real above board relationship.
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