advice -- if H doesn't know of past A
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advice -- if H doesn't know of past A
| Sun, 10-10-2004 - 8:19pm |
There are some on this board who strongly believe that after an A ends the cheating wife should tell the husband if total healing of the relationship is to occur. I understand why you feel that way and I value your opinions. My question, however, is for those of you who ended your A and chose not to tell your H.
How have you come to terms with keeping that kind of secret from your spouse? Has the pain of doing so lessened over time? Any words of wisdom?

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I totally agree everyone needs to decide for themselves how to deal with the prospect of being honest or keeping secrets in the aftermath of an affair.
I'm particularly sensitive to the topic as I grew up in a family where there were lies, withheld information, and, yes, even outright deception were the normal undercurrents. These days I'm loving the fact that if I just live my own life with honesty, then there's absolutely nothing out there that can reach round and bite me in the arse when I'm least expecting it. That's an amazing feeling and one I rate very highly, indeed.
I've said my piece and added the linked article from Psychology Today purely as I found it an interesting read and perhaps others might, too.
Wishing you strength & peace,
Posie
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