Advice! Before it's too late!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-10-2005
Advice! Before it's too late!!!
5
Tue, 03-08-2005 - 7:36pm
Hello,
I'm very newly married(I'm talking like 6 months) and am already having issues. I've been with my husband for about 5 years. Cheated on him twice before marriage. I'm in my early 20's. I love him, but sometimes think we got married for the wrong reasons(convenience maybe). But here's my new issue..
I've been at my job for about 2 years, kinda been attracted to this older single man, by older i mean mid 30's. Well, we flirted a little bit off and on, nothing serious. During this luncheon at work, we talked and I felt this connection that I have never felt before. There were about 30 people in the room at the start of the conversation and about an hour and a half later everyone had left the room except us. I was that into the conversation that I didn;t even notice all had left except us. It seemed as if he didn;t realize it either. For about two months after that lunch, he flirted a lot. He always noticed if my hair was cut, colored whatever. He would ask me personal questions and we started conversing about more personal topics like past relationships and my marriage. It seems as if he was getting a little more flirty than just wanting to be friends. I started falling for him at that point.
Well, soon after that, he started ignoring me, avoiding me at all costs. I felt really sad and kinda dumb that I would even be effected by this. It feels like he comes on strong and gets my attention and then drops me like that. I'm sure it's the best for me and my marriage, but I'm just wondering what is going on?
FYI--it seems like this happens in cycles, he stops talking to me, starts again and always goes out of his way to communicate with me and stops etc. Help!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-13-2004
Tue, 03-08-2005 - 8:33pm

run like the wind to the opposite direction !!!!

my 2 cents

welcome to the board

max

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-28-2003
Tue, 03-08-2005 - 8:54pm

L2bc

Better question may be what is going on with YOU, you have issues in your marriage then deal with them, the fact that you cheated twice before suggests that you should be considering INDIVIDUAL COUNCELLING to look at the WHYs of the cheating, you marriage/relationship issues are not the WHY you cheat as apposed to finding healthier ways of dealing with them....DEAL WITH YOU AND YOUR MARRIAGE/HUSBAND and leave this OM alone he clearly either has his own problems or likes to play games either way you have your own problems to deal with.

JMHO

Free

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-10-2004
Tue, 03-08-2005 - 11:44pm

ooooh if he is playing you now just think how bad he will play you later if you were to start an A with him. You know the saying" Don't hate the player hate the game" well that rings true here. Most MM love the thrill of the chase and once they have you hooked they run like he#$. Suddenly they are married and have a W and kids at home so consider yourself lucky this time and don't ever get involved with a MM. We have all done it on here and as you see all the pain and suffering we have all gone through or are going through it is not worth it and we are all hurting. I agree....run like the wind and never look back on this disaster that could have been!

Playin

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-08-2004
Wed, 03-09-2005 - 7:53am

You have the chance to protect yourself from a lot of pain and heartache! The game gets worse and harder to play!

Get out with your head, heart and dignity in tact!

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-01-2004
Wed, 03-09-2005 - 9:46am
Sounds like a game-player to me too. He's backing off to see what interest you really have. Stay here long enough and you'll read plenty of people that got involved with someone from work and is now regretting it..take max's advise..run the other way.