Affairs and Addiction/s

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-2010
Affairs and Addiction/s
10
Sat, 11-20-2010 - 4:10pm

Hello everyone!

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-2010
Sat, 11-20-2010 - 4:42pm

I AM REALLY REALLY GLAD YOU POSTED THIS MELINDA!

We seem to be on the same page right now with our thinking - not just in a phallic symbol sense- :)

Im going to go read the links you posted ...and I'll come back with ONE of my own - one that I believe to be the 3rd "AREA" of addictive / dysfunctional relationship choices: CODEPENDENCE

Here are my initial thoughts on the whole concept of

Your vision will become clear only when you look into your heart... Who looks outside, dreams. Who looks inside, awakens. I started looking inside and went NC October 15, 2010
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-2010
Sat, 11-20-2010 - 5:09pm

Newlife,

I totally agree with ya on being on the same page!I

It was so interesting for me to hear you speak about addiction the way you did.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-2010
Sat, 11-20-2010 - 5:34pm

SO POWERFUL MELINDA!!! THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR SHARING YOUR BACKGROUND!!!!

Those switch it ups they keep it fresh dont they?!?!??! Kept the hurt a little farther down the road. MAN. Like you, I am TIRED.

Its back to that ANALOGY I POSTED ABOUT WALKING DOWN THE STREET....It kind of describes MY ENTIRE LIFE.

Even as LATE as my finally popping my purity "streak"...(having sex this week) I QUICKLY bounced into my rational thinking (yah...of course AFTER I'd done it) but my light in the lesson? I GOT IT QUICKER than before. Here I was again...needing to be cuddled (ok valid need...???) but I didnt just do the cuddling...of course it progressed and I let it get sexual. (another need) but afterwards, instead of MY feeling "used". I actually felt BAD about USING him. (not that he cared - but for the first time ) IT HIT ME THROUGH THE OPENED / ENLIGHTENED eyes of a RECOVERING PERSON.....

I AM RESPONSIBLE FOR MY ACTIONS. (and their consequences) but this new

Your vision will become clear only when you look into your heart... Who looks outside, dreams. Who looks inside, awakens. I started looking inside and went NC October 15, 2010
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-2010
Sat, 11-20-2010 - 5:52pm

post script:

Chapter 4 to me...is about focusing more on THE HEALTHY CHOICES making those PRIOR to any flub ups. FORETHOUGHT. WISE DECISION MAKING...

and NOT falling into the old behaviors

THAT's where Im stretching my wings right now.

I could have divurged my path and thoughts into my newest "conquest" or 'friend'. lets say...and got lost in it for a while...but I DIDNT WANT TO. I wanted to jump out almost as immediately as I was in the sack. <--do people say that anymore? AND!!!! wait!! the best part!!! I DIDNT NEED ANYYYYYYY SUPPORT TO DO THAT!!!! NONE!!!!!! to talk about it at any depth was AN AFTERTHOUGHT.

Your vision will become clear only when you look into your heart... Who looks outside, dreams. Who looks inside, awakens. I started looking inside and went NC October 15, 2010
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-2010
Sat, 11-20-2010 - 6:22pm
Thought it'd be cathartic to have us see this list & identify?

Your vision will become clear only when you look into your heart... Who looks outside, dreams. Who looks inside, awakens. I started looking inside and went NC October 15, 2010
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-2010
Sat, 11-20-2010 - 9:52pm

Newlife,

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-2010
Sat, 11-20-2010 - 10:09pm

BTW, btw...what IS nk? did i say that?

with regard to my being at this stage of 'progress / process' this soon into NC...I do believe its because Ive been ACTIVELY working on the issues since JUNE. The NC was just another step to gain clarity and move towards the direction of ON! (MOVED ON)

Im happy with where Im at! That's for sure!

Not lost anymore.

Back to the sites - Ive taken a break for a bit.

xo,

M

Your vision will become clear only when you look into your heart... Who looks outside, dreams. Who looks inside, awakens. I started looking inside and went NC October 15, 2010
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-25-2010
Sat, 11-20-2010 - 10:51pm

I think the best description is a validation and approval addiction or habituation-

Photobucket
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-2010
Sat, 11-20-2010 - 11:15pm

Codependency Recovery:

http://www.recovery-man.com/coda/coda_recovery.htm

Recovery from Codependency is deep work based on shifting our relationship with ourselves. We may have to let go If the people in our lives are unwilling to work through their issues.

Your vision will become clear only when you look into your heart... Who looks outside, dreams. Who looks inside, awakens. I started looking inside and went NC October 15, 2010
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-2010
Sat, 11-20-2010 - 11:20pm

Dick B's Site on AA History - an excellent resource.

Your vision will become clear only when you look into your heart... Who looks outside, dreams. Who looks inside, awakens. I started looking inside and went NC October 15, 2010