Affairs and Alcohol consumption
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Affairs and Alcohol consumption
| Wed, 11-10-2004 - 10:03pm |
I was just wondering if anyone out there has taken note that since their A they have been drinking alcohol more than they used to. I know I have and since the end 2.5 months ago it seems to be even more than that. Could this coincide with having an addictive personality? i.e, being addicted in an affair?
I was just wondering how many others out there have had the same experience. It's bothering me enough to want to get some help with it.
I was just wondering how many others out there have had the same experience. It's bothering me enough to want to get some help with it.

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I can't drink for any reason but I wonder if it is not a way of escaping the pain from the withdrawls after ending the affair for some people, substuting one problem for another.
Free
I definitley noticed that I drink more since my A ended. The funny thing is - it only seems to make things worse. XOM does too (that's why I get 2am booty calls - loser).
Diva
Your right it does not solve the problem, the only way to solve a problem is to tackle it head on when you run it just chases after you.
Do you think you could find a way to vent your emotions in a less potentially distructive way.
Would working on inceasing your emotional connection with your husband help do you think ?
Free
For me, it's just something to do while time passes; have a glass or two (or three...) of wine before bed to help me "unwind". Maybe I'm an undiagnosed alcholic. Or, as Homer Simpson said: "Alcohol; the solution to all of life's problems...And the cause!"
I do believe I was addicted to the affair however. I think some people have addictive personalities and some people have a specific addiction -- mine was the affair!
Isn't this the truth! You know sweetie, just acknowledging that you may have a problem tells me that you are going to be OK. You are using alcohol to medicate your emotional pain and all it is doing, is making you feel worse. Yep, does sound like an affair, doesn't it? Funny, but my XMM doesn't drink and his sobriety was such an attraction factor for me. I NEVER had to worry about late night bootie calls (like many x-boyfriends over the years) but I think that was the only positive thing about the affair ;)
I, on the other hand, got my BS degree in college (Bachelor's in Booze and Spirits ;) and had many years of enjoying a brewski here and there. I found myself drinking MORE during my affair, and enjoying it less to almost nilch, since the end of the affair. I like being in total control now. I like having my emotions on an even keel. I like not having any further urge to slip into the past or dwell on memories. That's what alcohol did to me, and I tossed that addiction out with XMM.
You have taken note of your weakness, and you CAN make this better. I have faith in YOU.
~True~
Edited 11/11/2004 7:36 am ET ET by b_true_2_yourself
Alcohol and affairs are all about escape. I've done alot of personal work in this area and come to the conclusion that both are intended to fill a void and its much more deep-seated than simply to say "it's an escape." The "thing" we're trying to run from is something neither an affair nor alcohol is going to fix. They just act as a bandaid. The problem starts when we act out on our feelings of uncomfortability (i.e. we're feeling the void) and the action we take helps us feel better and get "outside" of ourselves for awhile. We feel "europhic." If you have an addictive personality, that initial euphoria will be enough to keep you running back for more, always trying to recapture that first "euphoric" feeling. As we all learn eventually, however, the euphoria inevitably wears off and we must move on to the next thing to satisfy our void.
During the past 2 years in recovery, I have come to believe/know that addiction is a disease that takes many, many forms. There are food addicts and anorexics, shopaholics - and I don't mean one too many pairs of shoes in the closet, I mean people who spend themselves deep into debt, drug addicts and alcoholics. All of these "habits?" are intended to make us feel good. And they might, TEMPORARILY. When the ecstacy wears off, we're left with that gaping void again, and the consequences from our initial attempts to fill the void.
Once you find recovery from the disease of addiction, you learn that you can only fill that inner hole with spirituality. True happiness comes from within YOU, not new shoes, a new lover or a beautiful house. Those are nice extras to have in life, but they're not the thing that's going to make you peaceful and content.
I've got alot to say on this topic, but I have a feeling I've already told you more than you needed/wanted to know at this point. I can assure you that if you think you need help, you probably do. Occasionally at AA or NA meetings, a newcomer shows up and shares that they're really not sure if they have a drug or alcohol problem. We always assure them that people don't typically wind up at AA or NA by accident. If you're entertaining the thought, you probably have the problem.
I can also assure you that the perceived "pain" of recovering from addiction is an illusion. Since I've started working on my addictive personality, I feel a greater personal freedom than ever before. The path of recovery is a fun and enlightening one.
JMHO, as always. Love, Mo.
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