after 3 years, but can it work.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-08-2009
after 3 years, but can it work.
16
Fri, 10-30-2009 - 9:53am
i posted this on mas, honest opinions here to please. thank you. my X-AP would like to give us a chance to be together in the next 2 months before he moves away, about 14 hours. i think i know what pushed his decision was my packing up and moving and telling him i can't be a secret. i know that my husband and i are done, it's not going to work. this is what i laways wanted. can it work, honest opinions please. thank you.

MoonUnit

MoonUnit

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-03-2008
Fri, 10-30-2009 - 10:18am

"my X-AP would like to give us a chance to be together in the next 2 months"


Moonunit -


You're probably not going to like my answer, but here it goes.


Has he moved out of his house?

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-2009
Fri, 10-30-2009 - 1:34pm
Do you have kids? How old?
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-08-2009
Fri, 10-30-2009 - 5:10pm
i'm not in an affair with him, i'm waiting for an honest, clean relationship. that is number one. it's not a side thing. his wife is moving in december, and he will be moving in march.he was served 3 months ago, and now him and his wife are finally following through with the divorce. until he moves he wants me o move in with him to see if we can make it work, then move out with him to where he's going. yes he still wants me to terminate the preg, i understand his reasoning, and i have to work on that. he's very adamant about it, but i understand why he feels the way he does. again i wont be in an affair with him, he has some choices to make.

MoonUnit

MoonUnit

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-18-2008
Fri, 10-30-2009 - 6:21pm

Hi Moon,


I only have a few minutes on today and was going to respond to the thread I started but then I saw your post and I feel like I need to take the few mins. I have on today to respond to your thread.


We want what is best for you. I am very concerned that at least part of

Whether you think you can or you think you can't you are probably right. A parrot can repeat what it has learned but the mark of true intelligence is applying what is learned.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-31-2008
Fri, 10-30-2009 - 6:23pm

Hi,


I'm also going to chime in and say be very, very careful.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-08-2009
Fri, 10-30-2009 - 7:44pm
sounds like sound advice, thank you. i as very surprised and flattered as well as floored when he sent me the email last night stating in a monthy or 2 that we can be together in a real relationship and he wanted me to move in with him in his home. he does. we still have a lot of talking to do, and one is about this baby.

MoonUnit

MoonUnit

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-16-2008
Fri, 10-30-2009 - 8:44pm

Are you still legally married?

What you need to work on is leaving your abusive H. Whether there is a future with AP or however you call him, you need to get your own place, by self-sufficient and financially stable, and then deal with whatever comes along. It is nice and fun to make plans with a partner, but you still need to become a "stand alone unit", especially there is a possibility that you may have to raise your baby by yourself.

I agree with one PP - talk to your therapist.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-14-2008
Sat, 10-31-2009 - 12:25am

Just a few thoughts that hit me when reading your post.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-26-2009
Sat, 10-31-2009 - 8:18am

Deleted.




Edited 11/9/2009 7:56 am ET by lenore2009
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-08-2009
Sat, 10-31-2009 - 5:29pm

lenore, thank you for your post. my X-AP has made it clear that he does not want this baby, wether out of fear or what have you. i can't believe that he would take such drastic measures of having me move in to his home so he can see me, it seems to off the wall. who knows what he is thinking other then he's stressed and this is all that is on his mind.

MoonUnit

MoonUnit

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