After 7 days, I got a message

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-11-2013
After 7 days, I got a message
12
Thu, 01-17-2013 - 10:30am

Today would have been the 8th day of NC.  I was doing well, but was hoping to hear from him. Well, I did.  Now, I don't feel so well. The heart is beating like before.  He only asked how I was doing and replied to my message from last week and signed it Love,___XO. So, people, I need your help.  I am guessing that you will all tell me to ignore the message and go on with my life.  Since it took him a week to respond to my message, the vindictive part of me wants to let him sit and wonder what happened to me which is why I was hoping to get a message.  I don't have any bad feelings towards him because we could never have a relationship together and I wanted him to find someone who he could love and would love him. Part of me is jealous, part of me is relieved and I am able to go back to my life, part of me is hurt because it all happened so fast and I think he could have handled everything better. I would have appreciated a nice Dear Tam letter to put it all to rest. I don't like the writing me then not writing me for 11 days, then writing, then not writing for 5 days, and so on. I had told him that I would not initiate contact with him, but if he sent me a message, I always answered it. After the 11 day stretch, I blasted him for not talking to me and leaving me hanging. After the 5 day and 7 day stretches, I expect it. My head tells me this WHOLE thing is ridiculous. I never wanted another man in my life. Then once I got one, I still don't want him, but struggle to get over him. I hate feeling like this!

Thanks for letting me vent.

Tamcoll

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-11-2013
Fri, 01-18-2013 - 10:31pm
Thanks, Sunny! You are correct. I'm not sure what I was looking for. I never realized anything was missing. Maybe it is because my husband is absorbed in his work or golf and doesn't pay enough attention to me or the kids. He has been doing better lately. It was rough when my older 3 were young. IDK. I know things are over and I feel so much better when I don't hear from him. I am able to get things done rather than sit at the computer all day. I feel better about myself. I had been feeling lonely and bored with life. I never felt like that before the EA. I also felt bad for neglecting my son while I was emailing or chatting online. Today was a good day. The 9 hour drive to take my daughter back to college kept me occupied. I get to spend tonight with my oldest son who came along to ride with me so I wouldn't have to make the trip back alone tomorrow. WE are going to do some sightseeing on the way home. It should be fun!
Avatar for wClarity
Community Leader
Registered: 11-04-2012
Fri, 01-18-2013 - 11:31pm

I love reading how you are plugged in again and re-engaging with your kids and with life.  And that your husband is coming around is great too...maybe its infectious...lol

Stay the course, and you can't go wrong.

((hugs))

Clarity

Community Leader,

Ending an Affair Support Board

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