all about connection
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| Sun, 11-15-2009 - 10:48pm |
I have to share this. Trying to work on my marriage. Today I decided to watch my DH at work. He works with people, and as I was watching him, and how the people he worked with looked up to him, it was like he was a new person. I realized I learned more about what he did in that hour than the almost 20 years of marriage. What did I see all these years? A guy who came home, didn't talk much, acted aloof and stressed. Expected me there to support him, yet never shared. Then I thought about the A, how much I knew about his life, his job, his stresses....I realized how disconnected I was from my H and its no wonder I felt like we had nothing in common, and I fell out of love.
So for the first time in I don't how long, I felt the love returning. I saw in him what I remember from long ago. I know we have a long way to go and I have to figure out how to explain to him how we need to connect, how he needs to share his life with me and be interested in mine. But I told him how proud I was of him and he was happy to hear that.
Any suggestions on how to get through to him? He won't go to MC nor read a book. Sometimes I feel between work, sports ect., even though he knows our marriage is stressed he doesn't want to take time to deal with it.

Hi jocelynblc,
I am no expert by any means as I myself am trying to rebuilding and get the love back into my marriage. But I did want to say, what is wrong with just savory that moment you saw your H as a new man and build and grow on that? And take it one day at a time or moment by moment to truely appericate them.
Its been 4 months since my A, and I have had a few of those moments you are talking about with my H and I like to think they are alitttle flicker of our love light , maybe someday it will be a hot burning flame again.