All about you!!!!!
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| Sun, 02-27-2005 - 1:21pm |
You know it's funny, the more I don't hear from him and than hear from him again, it's all about HIM, what is going on in his life, what he is doing, how he is feeling, how i did this to cause this...it's all about HIM!!! Well that is it, it will be about ME now, I will NOT take the crap anymore. I eneded it, for the 1st REAL time. He accused me of calilng his cell, which I did not but I think one of my children was playing with my cell last night, they called him (one ring and hung up) my other friend, my sister and than my BIL, so they where playing with my phone and it's so easy to make a phone call without knowing. So anyways, he writes me after not writing me for over a week to ask why I did that, how could I do that his wife was there, his in laws his parents....etc, like it was all about him. Well I told him flat out that it's not just all about him and that he needs to realize this, that all along I've been playing by his rules and I will NOT do it anymore. That I'm sick of waiting for him and get nothing, so I told him that i will not speak with him anymore. How DARE him!! I will NOT be his 10cent whore........
Ok thanks for letting me get that off my chest I needed to SO bad!!!
M~

Wow, I feel redemption from you doing that. Crazy eh? I wish I had done that a long time ago, saved myself a lot of pain. Stick to it, you'll be better off.
As to your other post, I don't know what to tell you. I struggled with the same thing for a year. I don't have children and I knew I never wanted any with him. What made you fall in love with him in the beginning? Try to think back about that.
Good luck and stay strong
Robin
M~
That's perfectly ok that you don't feel strong today. Tomorrow may be a very powerful day for you. If possible just take a long bath with some candles and if you can cry just let it out. I feel stronger after I cry. I made a list today of all the horrible feelings I had when I was with him. Like being second, if she called he would talk to her b/c it might be something to do with their son. It wasn't anything to do with him, she just wanted to make him miserable. So I would sit their quietly until they finished. Now guess what I got after!??? A depressed, sometimes angry, distracted and careless man. That's how we would spend the rest of the day. I know I was second behind his son and that was ok but not behind her and the rest of the world. No way. I'm worth more than that. Waiting by the phone for him to call b/c if he called and I wasn't there.....oh my. I don't want that again, never. Make a list somewhere and list all the things you hated about the R. When you need to be reminded why you deserve more, read the list and then add to it. Don't get caught into the fantasy life of what could have been.
LilRocket