All this emotional baggage..
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All this emotional baggage..
| Thu, 02-05-2004 - 2:36pm |
is just wearing me out. All of these feelings keep messing with my mind and heart that it puts me in a horrible mood. I'm trying so hard to stay away from him, I don't look for his car in the parking lot anymore, I've deleted all of the personal emails between us, I don't call him anymore, but he keeps coming around. I've done everything short of just being a total ass to him. I just can't bring myself to do that because I still have feelings for him. Don't know if they were truly ever reciprocated or not, I guess I'll never know. Maybe that's why I can't have the closure I want because he just leaves me hanging. Can't close it that way. I just want to run away sometimes and start all over. No XMM, no H, nothing. If I didn't have 2 DD's to think about I would have already left. Oh BTW - the job sucks too. How much further can I sink??? At this point in time I can't think of ANYTHING that makes me happy right now. Even venting doesn't make me feel better. But I still keep up that happy appearance so no one knows or questions it....why are so many of us suffering from this closet depression?
OM4M
OM4M

I don't know if this will work for you but whenever I get totally fed up with everyone and everything I go window shopping all by myself. I call it "me time". Even if you go sit in a bookstore and browse through books, or even the library. Take a break from everyone, it will help. I love my children more than anything in the world, but sometimes we all still need a break to do things just for us. It might make you feel better.
Good luck.